- Our thoughts create our emotions
- Our thoughts affect our behavior
- Our perceived center of control affects our behavior
- We think irrationally
- We create change in our lives by gaining control of our thoughts
Being aware of what you are thinking allows you to distinguish between thoughts, feelings, and actions. Thoughts stir up feelings, which in turn evoke actions. What did you think today that caused you to feel a certain way? Think of some of the things you said or thought this week that were examples of irrational belief systems. What made them irrational? What changes could you make in your Self-Talk that would cause positive changes in your behavior this week. These exercises in Self-Talk would lead to a better understanding of Self-Awareness.
As you become conscious of Self-Talk you would be able to identify your emotions appropriately. For example, the feelings of hurt are quite dissimilar from feelings of anger. Some people may think they are the same. However, such is not the case. Identifying the appropriate vocabulary for your emotion is very important. It serves as a prerequisite for managing your emotions.
Are you in control of your emotions or are your emotions in control of you? Very often we act without thinking. You may find yourself saying I did this certain action because I felt like it. Usually such actions are based on irrational thinking. Hence, the importance of learning to manage your emotions. This is done primarily by means of self-control and is accomplished on the continuum of Emotional Self-Awareness. (Goleman). Consider your score on the Coping-Style Questionnaire; in what area of your life would you like to experience more self-control?
In Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ, Goleman indicates, controlling your emotions through positive rational thinking allows you to harness your emotions productively, i.e. being more responsible, showing better ability to focus and pay attention, and being less impulsive. More specifically, you are better able to make the right decision regarding social issues, such as sex, drugs, and drinking. Your cognizance or sensitivity to emotions facilitates reading others emotion effectively. You will be more open to listening to others as well as show empathy. As you improve upon identifying emotions within yourself and others, you would eventually show a dramatic improvement in handling relationships. Skills such as resolving conflicts through negotiations and communication would enhance. The benefits of controlling your emotions are immeasurable for your personal growth and development.
In summary, schooling your emotions would produce an emotionally intelligent adult. Recognizing, coping, and controlling your emotions are the foundation for a positive attitude in dealing with the challenges of life. A positive attitude is key in determining the successful outcome of any task. Attitude is everything! Becoming emotionally intelligent creates a positive attitude. As an adult you will develop healthy lifestyles, making responsible decisions affecting your well-being. As an individual, you will become a positive contribution to your family, friends and community.
