Manipulation

Manipulation has been passed down throughout the centuries, and few know it's true secrets. There are five simple steps to manipulation. Here they are.

1. Plan-I personally suggest to people via e-mail to say you have cancer. Or to people you know say you have a hot girlfriend. Sometimes you might want to have another person in on it.
2. Gather the people you are going to manipulate.
3. If you're going to have people do what you want then gather them and convince them they are isolated, that no one likes them, but you are there for them. However if you are saying you have cancer leave 1 e-mail about how they're material on the internet helped you get through your operation. If you are saying you have a hot girlfriend, say she's from a place they can never go to. Drop subtle hints one day like "What would you say if I had a hot girlfriend?"
4. For the group make sure they are isolated from all past activities and have them gather new members of the group. Two weeks after your first e-mail say you have more tumors and that you need them to pray and ask them to ask their fans to pray also. Ask hypothetical questions again. "If you found out I made out with a girl what would you say I should do with the girl" get them curious. Then once they ask why say nothing. Then ask them what's the worst thing they've done with a girl. They will start asking you why, say I'm not telling you or if they ask what have you done? Say, you're not telling. They will persist after twenty minutes, say sounding nervous what you've done.
5. Repeat steps 3-4 then insist that thy don't want to go home, then tell them they are going to go through with the "great plan". Insist they should persecute those who persecute them. Follow through. With the cancer say it's spread to your whole upper body and you have no chance of life. Then one week later say you're the mother and that you died. Hilarious. With the girlfriend every week tell them how great it's going with her, then in a month say you broke up. Seem sad. This is where the other person comes in. Call their cell phone and have them say "Sorry (insert-name-here) isn't here and she says if it's (your-name-here) then to stop bothering here" Then he will hang up. Walk away from the other kids. Say "You know I'm not upset." They'll be shocked. "No, I'm happy..Because I fooled you" Do this to people you hate.