Denial
When we are doing some shady things (kalokohan) in our lives (and by the way we all are guilty in this count. It vary only in degrees whether it is large scale - like stealing, pushing shabu, killing, raping or your everyday stuff - like telling small lies, petty theft)..at that very moment we are caught, the initially reaction is to vehemently deny..almost 9,999 out of 10,000 will not admit point blank once the 1st accusation is cast..they will always weave their way out either by story-twisting or simply flatly refusing to admit. It's instinctive really, the first reaction of being caught.
Fear in action
When all system fails and we are finally caught flatfooted, we become hysterical, angry (some will cuss out, some physically try to harm people)..some (especially the women) will resort to crying..Funny, when we watch T.V. patrol, read the newspaper, we find people who are caught pushing shabu, raping & murdering either getting violent or crying their hearts out pleading innocence..then we start to believe their pleas & tell ourselves “BAKA NAMAN TALAGANG INNOCENTE (maybe they're really innocent)”…That's a natural FEAR response…Some become downright ugly. A lot of physical injuries, needless killings happened in this stage once not properly handled coz this is the time that the mind cannot reconcile with the incident at hand..it's one final attempt to escape..add to the FEAR-FACTOR this is the most dangerous stage of them all.
The crossroad (vehemence, justifying or acceptance)
After all the denials, outburst, tears & lies..Calm settles in and now it's the mind's turn to work. This is actually the most critical stage of all, the crossroad..This is the stage that decides the ultimate direction. There are 3 common ways people approach it, let's tackle them one at a time.
Vehemence
These are the people of no conscience whatsoever, they are so far removed from the HIGHER-BEINGS that they don't see anything wrong with what they did..and once the opportunity strikes again will continue to do so with the same crimes..This doesn't apply only to the major culprits..but with the everyday little stuffs as well. After all big-time crimes start from the little stuff like petty thefts & lies. Upbringing has a lot to do with this. These people grew up thinking it's ok to get away with the “these & that's”..once they got used to it, it becomes a way of life.
Justifying
These people more or less knew about their wrongdoings, but either lacked the discipline or resolve to mend their ways..They are always justifying their further actions with words like “ANO MAGAGAWA KO? (what can I do??)”, “KAPOS E! (I'm short of money)” or “KAILANGAN E! (the needs)”..These are the real miserable ones coz, these are the trapped souls who knew what they are doing is wrong yet forced by circumstances (as they always claimed) continue to do the same crime..They are always consumed by GUILT-FEELINGS before & after. Some even make the resolution not to repeat the same mistake & for a while will make small effort to mend their ways but faced with extreme predicament will end up doing the same.
Acceptance
There are those remarkable stories about people TURNING OVER A NEW LEAF..The BingBong Crisologo story just to name one..These are people who are not afraid to dig into their past & share them in public. These are the ones who are even proud to be WHERE & WHAT THEY ARE RIGHT NOW & re-telling WHERE & WHAT THEY WERE BEFORE..So many of these inspiring saga of TURNING THEIR LIVES AROUND…from turmoil to bliss..
Actions
As I've mentioned in the previous paragraph, the course of actions will largely depend on their response in stage 3..In as far as VEHEMENCE, the crimes will basically continue until the time that they realize & become enlighten (sometimes they just never come out of this)…JUSTIFYING stage is the real crossroad coz one part of you knows it should-not-be…but the other will continue to resist..& when the crime is done..will continue to justify & explain their course of actions..feel guilty about it…ACCEPTANCE is the 1st positive of them since this means ADMITTING -OUR-MISTAKES & making the conscious effort to straighten ourselves..This stage is not as easy as we think, since along the way there will be plenty to situations to test the resolve (temptations & lures of easy-way-out)..but we have seen & heard enough TRUE-TO-LIFE 360 DEGREE TRANSFORMATION.
Conclusions:
How many times have we heard the term “nice guys will always finish last”..But did they really lose out in the end??? From the society standpoint (which base success & failure only on material stuffs), it appears to be the case..and when we have this mindset we will be thoroughly convinced that “YES, THE NICE GUYS ALWAYS FINISH LAST”..Yet the real person who can really answer that question is WE OURSELVES..For all the material façade we put up in front, it's really we who knows the real score in our own respective lives..Flaunting our financial success is fine..nothing really wrong with that but to let other people decide whether we are WINNER/LOSER IN THIS GAME-OF-LIFE is like giving away our soul..Let them judge us from their standpoint but OUR HAPPINESS should come from ourselves..coz the bottom line is if “In our own book, we are already winners in life”..that's all that matters really.
