You think if he really knew you, he wouldn't make them. Right? No.
Husbands, (I do not mean to be patronising here) they are not always the sharpest tools in the shed when it comes to knowing what the right decision is? When it comes to knowing what actions to take and what events to plan. This is a risk we wives take when you say the fatal words " I don"t mind honey, its up to you'. Or worse, when we just let things go and act as if it didn't really matter when we know with all our being it does.
- Skimping on a Party: It is never ok to miss a birthday celebration just because of work commitments especially for the self-employed. You schedule the jobs so YOU make the time. I don't care what job you do, it is never ever more important than your family.
- Forgetting the Day: Make a fuss of your anniversary, it is never ok not to, this is the day you committed your lives and hearts to each other do not treat it like any other day. This day is your chance to celebrate your bond with each other, to do something romantic, to be thoughtful. If you make an effort to be the man you were in the beginning of your relationship perhaps you will see more of the woman she was.
- Selective Workaholic: Working every hour god sends, but dropping tools like they were on fire the minute someone other than your wife wants you to do something.
- Lack of Initiative: Waiting for you wife to ask you to do something with her instead of going to work.
- Neglecting the Patient: leaving your wife sick at home with the baby to go to work then coming home too tired from working so hard that you cannot give her any help at all, instead you become some else she has to take care of.
- Preoccupation: Offering to make your wife a cup of tea and then forgetting to put the kettle on. When she kindly asks if you would like a coffee an hour or so later you say "Oh yeah I was making you one and continue with what ever it was you were doing that made you forget to make her tea in the first place.
- Everybody's Man About Town: Spending so much of your energy and high spirits outside the home that you just coming home to refuel. It is great to have hobbies and interests outside of the home, but unless you really hate spending time with your wife delegate your time wisely so she doesn't just get to patch you up and watch you "rest". It really isn't as much fun at it sounds. Not if she loves you anyway. (See mistake No 10)
- Pleading Ignorant: Watching TV while your wife does the dishes, after making your dinner, loading the washing machine, feeding the dogs, changing the baby, emptying your lunch box, taking out the rubbish, making the baby's bottle and filing your paper work before making her own cup of tea.
- False Impressions: Treating your wife as a housemaid but refusing to admit it. Wet towels, dirty socks, bathtub rings and toilet skiddys do not miraculously disappear by themselves.
- Being a Hypocrite: Repeatedly telling your wife that you love her, and that she is more important than anything else in your life, that you would be lost without her while every one of your daily actions proves otherwise. Words don't prove anything, actions and only actions count. Example: just because your wife tells you your beers are in the fridge chilling, doesn't make it so.
Husbands, open your eyes and your ears. Look around you, become aware of what is happening in your wife's world because you can guarantee she knows what is going on in yours. That's why your sports bag is always ready on the right days packed with a clean uniform, deodorant and a fresh Gatorade. That's why your lunch pack is a little fuller when you planned an extra long day.
We know you work hard for your family and deep down you appreciate all that your wife does for you. But asking us what is wrong when disappointment makes us quiet will not get you the answers you seek because we don't want to make a scene, we don't want you to feel bad by seeing us cry because we feel hurt by a misguided action and we certainly don't want you to think we are angry. We know you mean to do better. At least that is what we keep having to tell ourselves. Maybe you could tell yourself the same.
