Relationships are challenging at times. Remember Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus? We are very different when it comes to our thinking process.
Women are practical. Men are logical. The always try to reinvent the wheel, trying to make it just a little bit rounder. I'm sure a lot of women can relate; when we first meet our man, he's perfect, he's fun, he smells good and he's pampering us, giving us a nice massage, opening the doors for us, giving us flowers, as times goes on, he starts to look different to us, he doesn't put in the effort he used to, even his massages are different. What happened?
We expect things to be how they once were. We want to change our mate to our liking, to be more like us. I believe woman more so than man. We want him to read our mind, especially when we are unsure of what it is that we want. He wants us to just get off his back and let him be. Conflict begins.
One of the top problems in most relationships is money. Most Americans lose sleep over money and even get a divorce. Another big one is cheating, one partner starts an affair, and some even live like this for years until they finally admit to it.
It doesn't have to be that way!
If your relationship is important to you, you'll have to work on making it work on a long term basis. If your relationship doesn't work and you're completely unhappy, maybe it's time to part and move on. There's nothing wrong with it. You happiness should always come first above everything else. But let's talk about putting the effort in; making it work.
Communication
Without communication everything is lost. How often do we find out that what we “thought” he said; she said isn't at all whet he/she said or meant? Most of the time there was sort of miscommunication. You start fighting over nothing. No one can read your mind, speak up.
Listen
Listen to what your partner is saying. Don't interrupt or chime in. You may not agree however there might be an important message for you. Maybe you are not being fair or understanding. Maybe you are unreasonable.
Respect
If you want respect; you have to be respectful. Respect your partners feeling without judging. Respect your partner's dreams and goals, their own space, their opinion.
Boundaries
Don't cross the line. Set boundaries.
If one person has anger issues, make an agreement that if that person starts a fight, you remind them of something very special that means a whole lot to the both of you, maybe the first time you met, the time you fell in love. Maybe the day your child was born. A romantic vacation.
If one partner is very jealous, be supportive, ask how you can make them feel less jealous, if you are at a party socializing, agree to make eye contact once in a while and assure the other person that you love them and that they have nothing to worry about. Show them that you care. Make agreements, set rules to keep your relationship alive and safe. Post it somewhere were you both can see it, make a love vision board, use pictures of the two of you and quotes that invoke feelings of love and gratitude.
Think before you speak
It's so easy to blow up on someone; throw a fit. Think it out first. Maybe whatever it is that's bothering you has nothing to do with your partner and everything to do with you.
Trusts
There's not much you can do or say other than “Just Freaking Do It”. Learn to trust.
Trust yourself.
If you want this relationship to work you have two choices, you either trust them or you don't. You will never know for sure what people do. But you will always know who you are.
Be trustworthy.
If someone does betray you, cheats on you, hurts you, lies to you; it's on them. Yes, it will hurt you but there's nothing you can do to make someone trustworthy. They either are or they aren't.
If you keep telling your partner how much you don't trust them, push it in their face, trust me, sooner or later they will prove you right. Because they start to think, well, he/she doesn't trust me anyway, I might as well do it.
Dates
Set weekly dates! Make time for just the two of you.
And don't even think about canceling it. No phones, no business. Just pleasure, time to re-connect, to do something you both enjoy, go for a hike, a trip to a town you've been wanting to see, skiing, to the beach, dinner, movies, dancing.
Both of you make a list of 10 things you'd like to do with your partner. Out of the 20, pick your top 10 and start planning your dates.
Accept
Even though you want to change your partner or wish he/she was more like this or that; love them for who they are. If you can't than maybe it's time for the two of you to move on.
Make a list of all the things you love and appreciate about your partner. Look at this list often and be grateful for the wonderful person you're with. Remember what you focus on expands. You are not perfect either.
Give what you want
If you want more affection, be more affectionate. If you want better communication, communicate. If you want more romance, be more romantic. You get the point.
Spice it up
While some say sex is not that important, I disagree. Men and women start cheating because they are bored in the bedroom. Make it fun, make it kinky, change it up.
There are a ton of sex shops that have all kinds of toys available.
Make a fantasy jar. You both have your own. Take turns in living out each others fantasy. Remember how wild you were when you first met? How adventurous you were?
Be that again.
Make it fun, make it interesting. Play little games.
There are some fun and sexy card games you can find even at Barnes and Nobles.
