This is certainly not the easiest of topics to write about. The subject of relationships/marriage is probably the most written and talked about. Yet relationships and marriages keep on failing as fast as these relationships are being made.
I think the key to a good relationship is understanding your spouse and the peculiarities he/she possesses. In my general opinion despite the tons of stuff that have been written many women still do not know what men want. Take a look at the following list. Not all of the following may apply to your man but I will try to make it as generic as possible and hope you locate your man somewhere in all of this.
- Sex always means more to a man than romance does. Men are simply not very interested in romance. Men think romance is for women. Men may even start out romantic at the beginning of a relationship but soon the tempo dies down. Men want to get down straight to it (sex of course!). Men have very little time and patience for pillow talk or whispering sweet nothings.
- That the last time he said “I love you” was last week don't mean he don't love you anymore. Yeah though the men know women want to hear it all the time (like a vitamin pill) somehow many men do not get round to saying it often enough. Rather than brood and worry about whether he still loves you all you need to know is that that is how the male species behaves.
- Tell me about your past does not mean fill me in on all the details. Past relationships? As much as possible keep a lid on some of the detail. Are you saying I should lie to my spouse? No. But there are some things that are better left where they belong. In the past. My wife finds it interesting to hear of my past dates/relationships and makes no bones about it. Certainly not me. You see guys think it is fun and even an achievement to boast about past relationships yet finds it revolting and insulting to hear about his woman's past.
- Men hate nagging. Most men hate for a woman to be repetitive and insistent about an instruction, tip, suggestion or advice. Many times a man will not act immediately on a matter because he is still analyzing the situation before taking action. No action does not mean no action. It may mean I am still thinking through or waiting for the right moment to act. Men by nature are mind creatures; women tend to be heart creatures.
- Don't think your man will hate you if he finds that other men find you attractive. To most men it is a thing of pride to find that other men find their spouse or woman attractive. That is so long as we don't indulge the other men or flaunt it in the face of your man.
- Similar to the above is this: just because your man looks at other women or even thinks them attractive don't mean your man is unfaithful to you or the relationship. It also doesn't mean that he is planning to ditch you (at least in majority of cases). He is still flesh and blood you know.
- Men talk less so can't understand when some women talk too much. Men are thinkers and most thinkers don't talk much. Even worse they hate when you interrupt their meditation with endless chatter. Most men (like me) tune off or get irritated even angry. When your man is answering in monosyllables or appears distant and uninterested, take the hint. He may be “busy” in his mind. He is not ignoring you or tired of you. He is just tired of talk.
- Men hurt like women hurt. Men may wear a body of steel and wear a face like a crash helmet but underneath they have a soft heart of flesh. A man wants to feel wanted or needed. He likes to hear say that he is important to his woman. He wants you to express love to him. A man wants to feel he is appreciated. He is not stone and so has feelings too. The strongest of men can cry and be heart broken.
- Men are sport men though women are romantic women. What do I mean? I would rather watch soccer on TV all night than watch Romeo and Juliet or Sleepless in Seattle. I would rather spend 10 hours watching soccer than spend 1 hour watching a romantic movie. My wife loves me to watch a romantic flick with her. She describes it as romantic. I tend to like sports especially soccer just like most men.
- Never! Repeat Never! Never use sex as a bargaining tool. Just before sex is not the time to remind your spouse of promises he has failed to keep or stuff he should have done that are yet undone. Only a “whore” bargains before sex.
