I love living in the moment. Sometimes the “moment” is so magical; just like all the stories that you used to read about the charming prince, the wondrous night, the happily ever after. Hopefully, you have already come to your senses and realized that the charming prince is just a fairy tale.
True relationships take work between two people who aren't “too” crazy. Nothing is drama-free. As women, we already know within the first 30 seconds of meeting a guy if he's going to “see the goods”. While I'm all for getting carried away in the beautiful moment of being with someone new and exciting, modern times call for a more level head before the consequences of our actions land us at the free clinic, or worse.
His Name
This seems like a no-brainer but often when you are introduced to someone for the first time, the name slips through your short-term memory like a breeze through leaves. If you don't know the guy's last name (much less his first) what are you doing sharing an intimate moment with this person?
His Age
Men aren't the only ones that suffer from “well…she LOOKED 18” syndrome. There are plenty of baby-face older guys as well as hard-faced teens out there. Do you really want to wake up in the morning with someone's who should be in Algebra class?
His Health Status
You now know the guys name and age. “Is this guy HIV positive?” “Does he have any STD's?” “Has he ever had an STD?” should be some of your very next questions. If you are sure of your status, that's great. Never take someone's “word” for it when they tell you that they are clean. Whether you demand some recent test results, wait six months, and demand more results - do whatever it takes to protect yourself.
Who They Are
So, getting to know each other. Maybe you guys have been seeing each other for a couple of weeks. This is the perfect time to find out what kind of person you're dealing with. Does he have mental issues? Anger problems? The best time to look for these signs of “crazy” is before you sleep with him. If he yells at waiters for no reason, abuses animals, exhibits road-rage, etc.; just imagine how he would treat you - especially if you're sleeping with him. Warning signs are harder to ignore once you've established a physical relationship.
Where He Comes From
This issue isn't about classism. There are a lot of crazy stories out there: from “he was an escaped convict” to “he had a family in every city”. What make these stories even crazier is that they, more often than not, are TRUE! Ladies, we need to be a little like “Nancy Drew” and investigate, investigate, investigate. Do you really want to be involved with a guy and find out some stunning truth - something you could have found out earlier just by asking questions?
Where He Lives
He will only meet you at a restaurant. He will only come to your home. You've been dating three months and haven't seen his place. This man may have several very good excuses why: “it's being renovated”, “it's a mess”, “it's being fumigated”. Or, more than likely, you can't come by because - he still lives at home with his parents and sleeps in a race-car bed, his wife wouldn't appreciate meeting you, he lives under a freeway, he's into (insert weird behavior here)…etc. If you can't see his place, he shouldn't be able to see yours.
What He Does for a Living
Again, this is not a class issue. I happen to prefer a guy that's not necessarily swimming in dough. He's more honest and comfortable with doing hard work and has a lot of great ideas for hanging out that don't require me to wear heels and a dress. However, if your guy gives you a nonsensical answer to the “what do you do?” question, it might be that he's embarrassed about being a dishwasher or a whole lot worse (street pharmacist, exotic dancer, sperm donor, 10-year-college student…etc.)
Is He a Dope Fiend?
There is nothing worse than realizing the person you're with has a drug problem. Unless you also have a drug problem…now you have someone to score with!
His “True” Sexual Preference
This one is self explanatory. There are many reasons why a man would want to hide his true feelings but do you really want to be his bump in the road on to true homosexuality? If you see signs, don't think you can “convert” him. It would be easier to convert the Pope into an Atheist.
Your Feelings
After carefully considering everything, have you taken the time to consider your own feelings? If you have some idea that in the morning you'd hate yourself for what you're doing the night before - why do it? Kick that bum to the curve!
