Relationships are never easy. Even a good relationship requires work and effort. The alternative is that you could wake up one day hardly the battle your marriage has become and left wondering where all the love has gone. If it all sounds a little "too dramatic", a little "that could never happen to me", a little "my wife"s not like that', think about all the times you had a mate sobbing on your shoulder because he has gone home to an empty house and he is shocked, because he thought that everything was fine.
Men, this list is by no means exhaustive and I cannot guarantee that it will fix or even fit your situation, take it as a little food for thought, it may reveal something you have not thought of before, some slight indiscretion you thought had gone unnoticed.
Make time for your family.
This is not a choir and should not be treated as work. Spending time with your mates and on your hobbies is important, but time with your family is the one thing you can never get back. Treat time with your wife and kids with that same excitement and sense of anticipation as you do a boy's night out or a day at the game. Let your wife know that this is where you want to be, even if being dragged through the sticky plastic tunnels at the Fun Station is not your idea of fun it is your kid's idea of fun and surely seeing them happy is reward enough. Take the kids off your wife's hands at least once every two weeks.
Dedicate a weekend day to spending time with your kids, set it in stone and make it clear that this is Mums day off. This is a day she can get her hair done, catch up with friends, go out to lunch or just rest at home and read a book. You reward for this will be quality time spent with your kids, a happy relaxed and rejuvenated wife and in fairness, you get to do the same. You get to take a day off too and spend it doing your thing, what ever that is, without guilt and without building up resentment from your wife. Make a regular time to take your wife out.
Book a baby sitter once a month, and take her somewhere special, somewhere you both like. Treat her how you did when you were first courting. Talk with her, tell her she looks beautiful and how much in love with her you still are. Do not waste this special time to just appreciate her. In return she has a chance to appreciate you too. Plan little surprises for her.
Leave her favourite chocolates in the fridge, bring home flowers from work, or call her through the day just to say thank you. It could be thank you for the lunch you packed, for the breakfast you made or maybe even thank you for last night. Be thoughtful, little things such as these mean a lot to a woman.Be spontaneous with helping around the house.
Don't be judgmental. Do not start playing Mr. Clean because today is the day first day this year you decided to pick your socks up, literally off the floor. Do not make her feel like she has not been doing a good job around the house and that is why you have stepped in. You are instead just trying to ease her load, make your intentions clear. Do not ever tell your wife she is losing it.
Or
that she is not the spring chicken she once was, or tell her "Yes dear that does make your bum look big!" Use your common sense, none of this would make you feel better so do not say these types of things to her. Be honest about your feelings.
If something is troubling you, or if you are not sure what to do about something, talk to your wife. You are a team, in this life together so do not shut her out. She will only worry more. Never foolishly believe that she does not know when something is bothering you. Talk. Listen to her.
This one is easy. When she speaks to you Listen. Do not put her down in front of other people.
Never set out to embarrass your wife. It is just hurtful. Never use her failings just to get a laugh. Finally guys,
Take care of her when she is sick or tired.
Treat her, as you know she would treat you. With loving-kindness.
Finally, there really are no tricks to a happy marriage. A good marriage is built on thoughtfulness, love and kindness with a little humor thrown in. Good luck and may all your troubles be small.
