A few years ago I got married to a guy I had known over 7 years. We had been friends for awhile and I had seen him go threw several girlfriends. We starting going out my senior year of high school and in a short time we went threw a lot together. My parents didn’t like and neither did my sister. We had hurricane hit our small town and was devastated from that we spent a month cleaning and repairing not just our houses but the whole city.
When he asked me to marry him a year after we had been dating I said yes, I thought I was in love with him. We planned on getting married 6 months from the time he proposed. I started to plan the wedding and during this time even after my parents gave us their blessing, I was still kicked out of the house. So I lived with my sister until I got married.
The wedding was a whirl wind, my family and his family split down the room in two sides. Mutual friend were the only people in the middle. That should have said something, right? Well I didn’t listen even though we came from two completely different worlds as far as families go, I didn’t care. I had a loving family that took care of me, fort he most part, (me being kicked out was my own fault for not listening to what I was being told) and while they had money they never showed it but made sure I knew I could also get help if I needed it.
He came from a broken home were his father abused his mother. He then lived with his mother and grandparents after their divorce. His brother stayed with his dad his senior year of high school and then moved out to lived on his own. His mom had him living in the worst part of Akron, OH. North Hill they called it. His school was across the street from a working crack house and he walked by it everyday. In school he admitted he did drugs but once he got out, he cleaned up and claimed he stopped. I remember a big change in him when he was in school but never thought anything about it.
After we got married I moved in with him, in his grandparent’s home with his mom and step-dad. That’s right, if you are counting, that is 6 people and 1 dog, 3 married couples under one roof. Then his brother called and said there was a job waiting for him in Ohio (we were living in Florida). HE made the decision while talking to me one night to move up there and take the job. I was kind of excited to be getting out of Florida. It never occurred to me to be mad at him for making that decision. Or to be mad that he was pulling me from my family and friends, and going to be surrounding me with his family and friends.
When we got up there we moved into his grandparent’s house (this time minus the grandparents). Mind you this house is old, built in 1860 something, dusty and has so many antiques we weren’t allow to touch. I was expected to keep the house spotless (which was impossible) and there were so many rooms we weren’t allowed in. Our bedroom was the newest room in the whole house. Updated in 1960 something! The hot water didn’t work we had to go next door to his brothers to take a shower everyday! What a pain!
When his grandparents would come up, that was a chore to get the house ready for them. I wasn’t keeping the house right, I could never do anything right and on and on and on. Mental abuse had started, but this was from his grandparents.
Then the job we moved up there for, laid him off. So he worked with his dad owning their own business cleaning daycares and office buildings at night. While I was working retail jobs. I was working 2 jobs averaging 60 hours a week. I was still expected to do the laundry, clean dishes, have dinner for him, and clean the house etc. We worked opposite shifts so we barely saw each other. He didn’t do anything but spend money, on his car, and on new fish tanks. Stuff for him. He would come get my paychecks and demand me to sign them over to him, and I did. I never knew how much money we had or anything.
After Christmas I quit the two jobs I was working and got two more and started working 80+ hours a week. We never saw each other except on his days off. I NEVER had a day off that I didn’t have to work one job or the other. While he was making slightly more money than me, he was only working 20 maybe 30 hours a week. He still expected me to do dishes, laundry, feed him, and clean the house. He played play station all day and continued to spent money still.
