Friends always told me that staying friends with an ex was a no go. Who would want to be around to watch their ex get off with the next girl? hang around with the guy you love yet not be able to cuddle him, kiss him or be able to smile at the fact that at the end of the night you'll without doubt end up in bed cuddled up together?
The thought of that was enough for me to assume that the night me and my ex broke up we would never see each other again. 'I'd have to move away' I thought, whilst clinging onto the little hope i had that we would get back together the following morning. Then, whilst pining for him, as you do, sobbing my heart out, as you do, and with a little help from my friends along with take aways and many bottles of wine, I managed to smile, and it hit me that I was more upset over the fact that I would never see this guy again who i shared so much time with, had so much fun with and still meant so much to me, than our relationship ending. I realised that I would prefer to have this man in my life as a friend if i couldn't have him there as my boyfriend. I knew it would be hard, heartbreaking in fact, to watch this guy i once loved and still loved, move on. but in a close community and with shared friends this seemed the only option, and proved to be the best. If we didn’t remain friends then I would have to hate him, and that would be impossible.
As we both cared for each other so much, it was made easier. We didn't purposely flirt with other people in an attempt to make each other jealous, we just got in with life and moved on. I too realised that there are plenty more fish in the sea, and even though he was my Stingray, the smaller fish can help you out whilst your recovering from your broken heart.
So when your friends tell you, and they will, that it is impossible to stay friends with an ex, it is not, you are not losing them forever, you are simply gaining a friend.
Circumstances can be different though and so is the person involved as some are stronger than others, but everybody loves the same, there is no one person who loves their partner any more than the next and I just want you to know that you do not have spend years and years wishing you could see your ex, wishing he was your friend and not being able to get him out of your mind, instead, you can brave seeing him and not being with him for a short while and remain friends. My heart is still mending almost 2 years on, but I am getting there, and if it wasn’t for my ex being here for me as a friend now I think I’d still be crying. He is so special that I’d rather have him as a friend than not at all.
