It may be harsh, but others are not on this earth to look after or rescue you, or to fill gaps in your life, or to relieve boredom.
Don't date and do nothing else - make a life for yourself so you have interesting things to share in the future/talk about. Clubs, societies, sports, drama, voluntary work, further training/education… Chances are high too that you will meet your soulmate in these places rather than mixing with bunches of drunk people in bars.
When you meet someone you like and who seems to like you, do you automatically assume you're going to become partners, even if you've only had a couple of dates? Many people become obsessed with the idea of being in a relationship, rather than seeing the reality of the person they have met. Your date will sense pretty quickly if you are desperate to become a couple regardless of who it is with and that your interest in them as a person is only as a partner.
Forget the idea of being happy if only you were in a relationship and wanting to accelerate matters as soon as possible - it won't happen as long as you give off any kind of self obsessed ''vibe''.
Build confidence in your appearance - spend time and money on yourself - you're an investment! Attraction is a basic need for a relationship to work/develop, and people do look at appearance first.
Be really honest with yourself about what part you played in the break up of your last relationship - what can you do differently this time? Many of the things we do in a relationship are done subconsciously, but are highly damaging all the same and will make your potential partner run a mile:
The following behaviour patterns can damage relationships and could certainly make your date run a mile if they sense you may use them, whether you mean to or not:
- Having to control your partner's thoughts/actions
- Lack of trust
- Doubting your own attractiveness/obsessive insecurity about appearance
- Constant testing/setting challenges
- Shouting rather than listening and talking
- Excessive competitiveness with partner/keeping scores/oneupmanship
- Always having to be right
- Constant faultfinding/criticism/obsessing about flaws
- Always verbally undermining, in public and privately
- Losing your temper viciously (verbal and/or physical) in arguments
- Passive aggressive behaviour - secretly doing what you say you aren't, being underhanded
- Criticising one thing while secretly fuming about another
- Refusing to forgive
- Constant attention seeking/having to be centre of attention
- Laziness/giving up on yourself or others/refusing to leave your comfort zone
- Not being genuine/honest
- Obsessing about commitment/marriage rather than enjoying what you have and being prepared to wait and see
- Sense of entitlement/chips on shoulder carried over from past relationships
- Expecting a partner to give up certain things they enjoyed, for the sake of the relationship
