Breaking up is hard to do as the old saying goes, but what can be a tough situation can actually be turned into a positive and character building experience in the long run.
Understandably, a breakup can really take a toll on one's emotional and physical well being. Some people don't have the appetite to eat, some can't sleep and pull away from family and friends who wish to help. Going from spending so much time and sharing hopes and dreams with one person to not even talking with that same person can really take a toll on one's self esteem.
If you are the person doing the break up, taking the necessary steps when terminating the relationship is important.
- Always give specific reasons as to why you are wishing to break it off. Being vague will only allow the other person to believe there is hope of reconsideration.
- Choose a place that is private enough for you to talk openly but public enough to be able to make a quick get away if needed
- After the breakup, avoid getting together until you both have been able to reflect on the fact you are no longer together. If you both have mutual friendships, you may be able to wean back into being platonic acquaintances but remember the relationship will never be the same as it once was, nor should it if you meant for the break up to occur.
If you find yourself on the other end of the spectrum and are dealing with the breakup as the dumpee, here are some tips to deal.
- Don't be afraid to get to know yourself all over again. Now that you are no longer half of a couple, you are able to do things you may not have been able to have time for previous to the break up. See that movie you've been wanting to see, take that girl only trip you've been wanting to do, take the writing class you've been wishing to take. You are available now and ready to date yourself!
- Write it down. Any emotions you may be feeling are better expressed then bottled up inside. Keep a journal or start a blog and record every emotion you are feeling in order to help you get through the break up.
- Learn new things. If your ex always fixed your computer, learn how to fix it yourself! Learn new things and keep your mind busy.
While break ups are hard to do, they can also help us realize new potentials about ourselves. Whether we are the ones doing the breaking up or getting broken up with, parting from someone we have spent so much time with can be very difficult. Remember life does go on and if one person isn't right for you, leaving him or her behind is only being true to yourself and bringing you closer to finding the person who is right.
