Whether it was your decision to end a relationship or you have been dumped, the process of breaking up can be tough. Breakups always take me to the same place, a complete analysis of my previous relationships. It is not a happy place but a necessary evil. I think about what went wrong and why. This helps me figure out things I need to improve. I have experienced several break ups. Some were harder than others but the most important thing to remember is to keep your spirits up and be optimistic. It takes a strong person to end a relationship but it takes an even stronger person to open up to new possibilities and imagine a different life with someone else. I want to share with you some of the things that work (and do not work) for me during that difficult time.
Keep your mind busy. This is a time to think and evaluate, but you do not want to over do it because it will drive you crazy. One of the challenges during this time is to endure it with full sanity. Before making that “let's get back together” call, think about it. I mean think about it thoroughly. There was a reason why it ended in the first place. Remember that staying with the wrong person prevents you from being with the right one.
Alcohol - Although drinking is not the best medicine, it helps to heal the wounds temporarily. However, be careful with alcohol it might precipitate a terrible practice called “drunk dialing” which might end up being a “let's get back together” call. Whatever the purpose, you do not want to go there. The next day you will feel embarrassed, wishing you had not. Before picking up a phone, make sure you are completely sober.
Enjoy your new free time - Do things you always wanted to do: learn a new language, spend more time with your friends, take a dance lesson or workout. Exercise is a great way to focus your attention elsewhere. It will also help you look and feel better.
Sometimes when we are angry or hurt we say things we do not mean. Choose your words carefully. People actions and words are a reflection of who they are. Do not take things personally. If someone insults you, reply with a kind word. It is hard to be the bigger person but it is worth it. If you are able to end a relationship gracefully, you will feel so proud of yourself. You will be a stronger person and that is a beautiful thing.
Wait sometime before getting involved with someone new. The amount of time will depend on you and the seriousness of the relationship. Some people start dating very shortly after a breakup. This is not very healthy. There are better ways to keep your thoughts occupied. We are so afraid of being alone but the truth is that if you have faith in God, you are never alone. And even if you do not believe, there is always someone that cares about you (whether you like them or not). It might be a family member, a neighbor, an online contact, or perhaps a coworker. But I will tell you a secret: life is a lot easier when you believe and have faith. So, do not be afraid of being alone - deal with it, accept it, embrace it. Do not let anyone, including yourself, pressure you. I will be the first to admit that this is easier said than done but when we put our heart into something, nothing is impossible.
