The old song says “Breaking Up Is Hard To Do” but most of us know someone who seems to have a different “significant other” every New Year's Eve. These people apparently don't have a problem with it. Let's face it. This is not a simple pattern of relationships, it's more like timeshare. Maybe we could learn something about breaking up from them.
Here are some tips. When it's necessary to end a relationship, hopefully it will be an amicable separation. Gestures of goodwill won't go unnoticed. An offer to let someone keep an engagement ring may be considered quite generous. In exchange, allowing someone the uncontested custody of the Thriller album is less so.
If a lady's enjoyed wearing a gentleman's football jersey to be reminded of him when they weren't together, it may make a nostalgic keepsake by which to remember him after they've parted as a couple. If the gentleman's been enjoying wearing anything of the lady's, the comfortable time to mention that has probably passed.
The possible methods of breaking up have evolved over the years with the advancement of technology. The telephone meant that it was possible to break up with someone in real time without being face to face. This was much more expedient than using a letter. The “Dear John” fax was a favored option for a few years before the advent of email. For a more personal touch, some romances have actually even been terminated by a Post-it note.
For those of us who find ourselves suddenly single again, we'll probably want to get the message out. Word of mouth is always a good technique, which can be helped along by recording a new voice mail message on your phone. Or if you really want to turn the page quickly, you can hire a skywriter. By the way, if you have it announced on the scoreboard at a major league sporting event, it's considered tacky to become engaged by that same means, at least in the same season.
If you choose to rid yourself of unpleasant memories, it's easy enough to collect photos and either stash them away or throw them out. It's probably a good idea to not have personalized items like coffee mugs still in your home with the ex's name on them. Looking back through the decades, this is most likely the reason for the popularity of “His and Hers” towels; you knew which was your significant other's, without going into names.
And finally for some of us, that brings us to the perhaps toughest question of breaking up: What to do about that personalized posterior tattoo?
