Dating: Second Time Around

Dating is wonderful! There's just no substitute for the stomach-wriggly magic of a first date - the excitement can be equal to the thrill of a white knuckle ride; causing the nerves to protrude from your body like mermaid hair. But if this is true of dates when you're young, imagine the teeth-rattling terror of middle-aged trysting. Yes, in the prime of your life, the trials and tribulations of arranging a date may turn you into a giggly adolescent again

Let's say you happen to be a lady who's arranged to meet in person someone you've only spoken to on the internet, and you're only too well aware of the dangers of dating someone in this way. But you reckon you've taken reasonable care, meeting in a public place, telling a friend or relative where you're going, and what time you expect to be back, etc.

Problems can loom large, especially at four o'clock in the morning when you're lying in bed, tossing and turning and trying to digest the fingernails you've just bitten off in your extreme moments of fright. The Whatifs start to invade your bedroom round about this hour. What if...he's a sex beast and only interested in my body (don't spoil this by following it with “I wish!”) Then comes "what if…he"s a serial killer!' Of course, that's the big problem with the internet - the Prince Charming that you dallied with in cyberspace could turn into the Prince of Darkness when you meet him outside the pub. And now your brain has really got the bit between its frontal lobes and other worries take over.

You start to think of all your failings- real and imagined. And, in those early hours - boy, can you imagine them! What if ( that phrase again ) you're too set in your ways to morph into a couple again? Maybe he won't like your looks or personality; or, even - hey, wait a minute here, what about his failings. What if he has bad breath or wandering hands.

And, if a miracle happens and you actually get on and meet beyond the initial date, other scary pitfalls await. Such as Pitfall A, also known as "The Grown-Up Children."

It's a fact that "adult" kids can turn into your worst nightmare. They range from being openly hostile, even rude to your beau, to having your most embarrassing life events on tap - and not being afraid of turning them on at full flow! For instance, do you really want your new boyfriend to hear of your massive pot - throwing argument in the street with your ex-husband, which resulted in the police being drafted in by your irate neighbours? Or your last attempt at dating, when your boyfriend came round too early and you still had your hair dye on? Next up, your offspring wait for a lull in the conversation to whip out from thin air your old holiday snaps. You know the ones I mean - those taken when you still weighed 14st and was lying in a pool of your own flab on the beach at Blackpool, your skin a blotchy shade of flamingo and a kiss-me-quick hat on.

But the rude kids are infinitely worst. Your teenage son glaring at your bloke and comparing him unfavourably to "His Father", or turning up “Razorlight” to full volume as soon as he walks in, is just about guaranteed to send your man running back to the dating agency and asking for a full refund!

But, hey, don't let me put you off dating. There are just as many pluses as minuses.

There's the companionship for a start. It's so nice to have a someone there who understands what it's like to be on your own. And there are so many things a man can help you with that a female friend can't - well, I'm sure I'll think of something eventually.

Also, don't forget that your man must have failed relationships behind him, too, so you'll both have a head start on what not to do, to make your liaison work the second time around. You'll know not to expect too much of each other, and to give each other a bit of space, and treat each other to that all important respect- it really does work wonders on the bonding process.

You'll be careful to make sure the teenagers are at the pictures for the evening of your first date as well, won't you - if you want a second one, that is!