A marriage is perhaps the most important social occasion for any family as well as for an individual. Marriages in India are a focal point for a family gathering reflecting status of a family.
It is a Sunday morning and here comes the newspaper, having Matrimonial section. Turning pages in the section to look for a groom is an act too common for parents having daughters of marriageable age. Most newspaper carry scores of such advertisements in their matrimonial sections and perhaps the maximum attention and responses comes which have the catch words like `Green Card', `NRI' `Citizen'. The craze for NRI groom has always been too high in the market and even in such economy when NRI'S are making there way back, the craze for having NRI groom has no impact at all. The attraction of getting a groom and that too one who is serving or earning abroad without dowry, lures many, especially from the middle class. Even otherwise, parental insistence for an Indian bride in the hope that his son is not lost forever is not uncommon The bride's parents often lose sight of the many values that are essential like inquiring about the social or financial background of the family or the character of the groom.
All that they can think of is that a foreign groom would mean a six-figure income and the luxuries associated with it. They forget a famous saying “ All that glitters is not gold”.
It's often; parents queue up to the selected matchmaking proposals and organize hurried meetings when the boy comes to India. He gets all the rights to reject proposals as if he is Mr. Perfect. On other hand 50% of these girls who sits like a puppet feels privilege to marry NRI as if they can help them move up the status ladder.
What is in Mind of Women when their Parents look for a NRI Match?
The aspirations to leading a comfortable and an independent life is main reason of brides to go for NRI groom. They feel their life partner is driven, ambitious, stable, responsible and wealthy which will make dreams of living a lavishing life will soon come true. They will be bonded with the family only on phone or once a year and will be away from daily speeches by their in laws. They have a strong feeling of getting most importance in the family when they go for vacations as they will be “ Dollar Brides” and can dominate by dollars in their family as well as in front of relatives.
The major reason seems, highly motivated, talented and hard-working Indian women hardly get the opportunity in India to push them and achieve their potential. But after choosing NRI grooms, they build successful careers overseas, some even breaking the glass ceiling to reach dizzying career heights, run beautiful homes and bring up children. Married and abroad, this “ Dollar Bride” discovers her potential. She becomes career-oriented and combines work with running a home. She sacrifices sleep, comfort and relaxation. They even know NRI men make better husbands as they treat their partner as equals as the responsibilities are shared to keep the wheels of the routine household chores sufficiently greased for its smooth functioning. Even their families will be more open and considerate.
They eagerly wait to step ashore a land considered by many to be the Land of opportunities, money, and lifestyle and which all women fantasize in their dreams. The lure of golden apple in form of NRI groom is hard to resist. Women can do anything to look and talk like a foreigner. It is hit to be in “phoren” and to have a foreign hubby as well. Also for the purpose of marrying NRI'S, women show in their meeting their modern outlook or total Indian outlook which ever is conditioned by the Groom alliance though in real life it might have been the total reverse way. Call it the hangover or preference for NRI'S the craze for everything foreign seems to be gaining ground.
NRI'S want their wives to be well educated, ravishingly beautiful and still be shrinking violets. These men are searching for a phantom that would behave like they want. He may admire a trait of assertive nature in a female colleague, but not in a woman he wants to marry.
But the point is today's Women being highly educated, independent still are not at all in double mind when a proposal from foreign alliance comes. The problem could be summed up their High Expectations leads to accept the proposal without having a second thought. They forget the fact marriages cannot be arranged unless truth is "embroidered". NRI's today depend on impersonal dotcoms for their nuptial needs and so is the case with Indian Girls in India. You can check any matrimonial site and you will see girls have filled the form on their own having a preference for NRI's. Some dotcoms are bringing out exclusive offline matrimonial magazines for the NRI's and in India who are looking for Matrimonial alliance.
Though this is also becoming part of Indian society but still due to the age-old traditions, the predicament of women is understandable as they are raised to have doubts about their ability, to put family first and to subsume their ambitions and dreams in the interest of family and society. They are still not allowed to decide for themselves and are not prepared for the workplace. These along with big dreams of fantasy world make them dream about NRI groom in preference to grooms from India.
In the Hebraic tradition, it is said that when a boy is born, the angels hover around the newborn and announce the name of the girl the boy would one day marry. Marriages are made in heaven. Everyone is destined to find a match made for him or her. Wedding bells surely rings whether you find a NRI groom or and Indian groom.
So ultimately all it is a question of being happy in life and live life to its fullest with your soul mate at any place. It hardly makes a difference if you get married to NRI or a groom from India, after all what matters is your compatibility and the understanding you two make in future. If you support, understand and respect each other then you can very well have a dream life back in India too. If that is missing then your life is nothing even if you are a “Dollar Bride”.
