The date, you thought to yourself, went pretty well! After all, she did seem pretty into you. And don't forget, when you asked her out, she jumped at the chance. Sure, you were a bit nervous, but aren't we all the first time? You picked her up on time, brought a rose, held her door for her, lavished a meal on her, then brought her home. She gave you a hug and said "let's do it again."
But it's not happening that way. It's been a week now, and your repeated attempts at contacting her have gone nowhere. What the hell went wrong? It wasn't you, was it?
Yup. Here's why.
You Were Too Needy
You didn't really show up for a first date with flowers, did you? I hope not. While it's nice to show that chivalry is not completely dead, it's also a mortal sin to come across too strongly on the first date. Always remember: it's just a date, not a playoff game. Be cool.
You Were a Chatterbox
It's okay to be nervous. We all get a little nervous on a first date. It's definitely not okay to talk about yourself all night. So here's a wee tip for you, Romeo: let her do all the talking. Not only will she think of you as a great listener, but since you didn't get a chance to say much you'll come across as being mysterious. Oh, and mysterious guys almost always get second dates.
You Didn't Capture her Imagination
She did seem to be interested in the way you talked about your job, didn't she? Of course she did. But she was faking it. Let's face it: unless your job entails flying to exotic destinations as a sales executive for a shoe company, chances are your office details are less interesting to her than hers.
Why not ask her what kind of tree she would like to be? Or what person, living or dead, she would most like to challenge to a mud wrestling duel?
Use your brain, man!
You're Not Passionate About Anything
If listing your favorite television shows is your idea of discussing your interests, you need to reinvent yourself, dude. Don't just be -- be about something. Dammit!! Even if you have absolutely no skills and no interests beyond beer and pizza, find something to feel strongly about. When you do talk (but don't forget point two above), talk about the fate of the planet...politics...the poor quality of today's modern paperclip. Doesn't matter what the subject is. Demonstrating passion with words lets her know that there's plenty more where that came from...
You Didn't Pick Up the Tab
This one took me a long time to figure out, but trust me...it can be a deal killer.
You've got points one through four nailed. You're doing everything right. You're cool, mysterious, captivating and passionate. The bill comes and you both decide to split the check. Chances are you're already sunk.
Sure, it's the 21st century. She's a career girl, has her own money, and she's not looking for a gravy train. Yet many women still expect the man to pay on the first date, regardless. I know it doesn't make sense, but there it is. Of course, if she absolutely insists, don't argue over it. Otherwise, to be safe, just quickly and decisively pay it yourself.
Like any game, dating is not so difficult once you understand the rules. Stick to these guidelines and you'll do fine.
