It's a scientific fact that a man is genetically programmed to hunt and once a man has conquered his mate his interest often turns to the next potential target. I am not saying this to scare you but rather to warn you that just because those desperately awaited three words have been uttered it is not the cue for you to become complacent.
These are my five tips to keep your man, there are hundreds more but if you get these five right then you will have no problem working out all the others for yourself.
Stay Interesting
Do not cancel the gym membership, the nights out with the girls and those trips to the art gallery in favour of curling up on the sofa in your pj's with the remote control and trips on the weekend to furniture shops. He is with you because of the exciting, charismatic woman you are and changing overnight into little Miss Boring is not going to hold his attention for ever.
Keep up to date with what is happening out there in the big wide world. It maybe lovely making a home with him but this means nothing if all you have to discuss is the shade of cream you are going to be painting the guest bedroom. If he liked your wild and wicked ways, your zany sense of humour and your insightful comments on the topic of the day, make sure you retain them.
Keep the Stockings
We all like comfy knickers and every woman in the world has a pair of old, grey baggies but if you did not let your man see you in them when you were first dating, don't let him see you in them now.
The complaint I hear most from attached men is the lack of care their partners take in the lingerie department. It really does matter, ladies. Taking care of your bedroom appearance is no less important now than it was before. I know all of you are going to be scowling and pointing at me as a traitor to womankind but it is important. A pretty matching bra and pants, stockings and suspenders or a lacy camisole can do a lot to retain the spice in your relationship. If you really can't be bothered wear nothing and go commando, but remember to make sure he knows that you are!
Even if you have turned to your partner after reading this and he has said he does not care what you wear, do not believe him! He does care and the rewards you will get from good lingerie are not to be dismissed lightly.
Do Not Smother Him
Some men like to be babied and if you have one of those, then disregard this tip and move on to Tip 4. Not all men are the same and knowing your man is the main tip I would give for keeping him.
There is a thin line we woman have to tread between supportive, sympathetic pampering and turning into his mother. The only reward for mothering a man is to get a child to look after. Make your man feel like a man and he will treat you like a woman.
All men like to be pampered but no man likes to be smothered. I will give you an example. Making your man's lunchtime sandwiches and leaving a sexy note hidden in the lunch box is good, making his sandwiches and then ringing up to check he has eaten them is bad.
Say What you Mean
Men and women communicate in two separate languages. This is important to remember whenever you are trying to explain why you are upset, angry or “about to hit him over the head with the nearest heavy object”. Crying and screaming at your man will make him realise you are upset but he will have no idea why and his reaction will be to go into defensive mode, this is most frequently demonstrated by him either yelling back or going out. The opposite behaviour of sulking, door banging and muttered “I'm fine”, will often result in complete oblivion to your distress. In my experience neither of these work and accomplish very little.
You need to communicate with him that you are upset, why you are upset and what he can do to make you feel better. If you can do that in a calm way and preferably when he is not watching his favourite sport on the TV, you have a much better chance of actually getting the reaction you want with the minimum amount of stress.
Know your Man
Make sure that your man is your specialist subject. That does not mean you have to interrogate him each night about his every movement during the day, that would be extremely annoying. I am talking more about his likes and dislikes, his personality and the little things that make him happy or unhappy. His fantasies, dreams and goals, even his fetishes. Every man likes his woman to be interested in him.
Knowing these little things will enable you to understand him, reward him and surprise him. In turn this will allow you to keep your relationship fresh and him right by your side, where he should be and where you want him to remain.
