Whenever we talk about relationships, we often discuss some of the key elements that either make or break a relationship. Many of the elements that we talk about the most are:
- Love
- Money
- Sex
- Communication
- Infidelity
- Commitment
I agree that all these are key aspects of every relationship, just to name a few, but there is one element that's not talked about that often, and that is, "Forgiveness."
Since we are all human, we all are bound to make mistakes or disappoint each other. No one has and never will have a perfect relationship. This not only applies to love relationships, but also can be applied to business, friends, family, etc. I believe that once we learn to forgive, we can have very rewarding relationships. I'm not saying forgive and forget, because you never forget when someone has done something to offend or hurt you, but when we forgive, we no longer hold on to that offense. I'm also not saying to stay in a relationship that causes you hurt or harm, especially if the person becomes an habitual offender.
We must realize that forgiveness gives the person that was offended, peace. Many times I talk to people that carry anger and frustration for years against someone who has done them wrong, while the person who has commited the offense, is going on with their lives. Oftentimes, many people develop many health issues, because unforgiveness breeds stress that will eventually affect your well-being . It not only affects you, but also the people who are close to you. I've seen on many occasions where the person with whom the hurt person is in relationship with has to pay for something that was done from a previous relationship. Too many times people end a bad relationship, and enter into a new one without first getting completely over the other person. The new person is already at a disadvantage because of prior hurt. I know from experience, from both sides of the spectrum, the effects when the person that you love has broken your trust.
Although it is not an easy task to forgive, but with a little faith and work, you can overcome anything, especially if the person who committed the offense is remorseful, and also willing to work through it. When you are in a relationship, it is key to communicate to the other person that you were hurt. Men are not mind readers. If we have offended you, and we ask what is wrong, tell us. We really can't stand when we ask what is wrong, and you say, “Nothing” knowing that something is wrong.
Once the breach of trust has been acknowledged, and both parties are willing to get to the root of the problem, and fix it, then the process of reconciliation can begin. It takes a mature individual to be receptive when their mate comes to them and let it be known that they have been hurt, and they apologize, and do whatever is necessary to fix it, even if they believe that they are right. Just the fac that I hurt the one I love is enough for me to try to work it out.
It is also key that once we forgive, we should never throw it in our mates face again, because true forgiveness is: I no longer hold that offense against you.
