Many people have varied definitions of what a best friend is, but there's one common response about having such a super-close buddy: a friend with whom you can be very close.
The nice thing about becoming best friends is that feeling and emotions can come naturally if you want to be as close as you can get to him or her. Are you thinking of love? The closer you get, the better you can share your feelings to him or her.
Signs of Being Best Friends
"We were best friends for about two months before we got engaged," says 23-year-old Kate, who at the time of his writing was all set to get married to her beau Trey, "because I really wanted to know him much better." At first, Trey insisted on moving to the boyfriend stage as soon as possible, but Kate made the relationship stay at the best friend level. "I wanted to be sure," she adds.
There are also certain qualities to keep in mind when you're both already at the best friend stage. Although feelings and emotions can come naturally, you should keep them in check because your closeness to each other isn't a free-for-all in which you can just say or do anything without fear of negative reaction. The art of being best friends has its guidelines, too:
You Permit Your Best Friend to be Himself/Herself
You accept your best friend for who he or she is. This is the stuff many songs and poems are made of-remember lines such as "I love you just the way you are" and "love me for what I am"? You endear yourselves to each other not because you try to make each other conform to some ideal standards but because you respect each other's unique individuality.
You Give Each Other Personal Space
You try not to invade the inner space of each other. You go to a fancy restaurant together, but you don't insist that he or she pick a certain dish on the menu. She goes out with her other friends, but you don't feel jealous. He likes to spend a lot of time in his room at home,and you don't call him up to disturb his solitude. In short, you allow a person time to be with himself or herself.
You Are Ready to Give and Receive
This is a give and take relationship, where you learn to give even if you don't feel generous, and receive even if you feel unworthy. If he or she gives you a good feeling, learn to reciprocate. Nothing makes a friend happier than to know that his or her efforts are appreciated and reciprocated.
You Always Give Realistic but Constructive Advice
If your best friend needs to talk, you listen even if you're not really in the mood to listen. You make the effort to telll him or her what you honestly feel, and because of that, you give realistic advice. For instance, if you feel that another friend is turning into bad company for him or her, you say so, even if that friend is also close to him or her. But, you say it in such a way that you don't judge your best friend, instead you give constructive ideas or comments. For instance: "I think Jim's negative comments are influencing the way you look at your life. What do you think?"
You're Loyal, Loyal, Loyal!
Loyalty doesn't mean blind obedience. It means standing by your best friends in his or her ups and downs. You defend him or her when you think it's right, but you try to understand your friend also even if you feel he or she didn't make the right choice. In essence, loyalty means still being friends with each other despite the weaknesses, biases and misjudgements.
You're Not Short in Praise and Encouragement
You tell him or her what you like about them, how thankful you are for his or her presence in your life. You also respond positively even if the situation isn't exactly that positive. For instance, when he or she gives you a red shirt as a present, you thank your friend a lot and thank him or her for all the thoughtfulness and care-even if you totally hate the color.
You're Honest
Open communication is the basis of true friendship, but be aware also of what is better left unsaid. When you're honest, you actually avoid possible conflicts and misunderstandings. If you think this is in conflict with the example just cited in #6, it isn't.You're honest not about the gift but about the feelings that went with giving the gift. Let's say you don't like some personality traits in your friend. Be honest, but not too honest.
You Treat Your Other Friends Equally
Of course, you treat your best friend royally, but you don't look down on or ignore your other friends. You still allow them to have fun with you, enjoy your company and give them quality time. You also consider their comments and suggestions, and try to be there in their hour of need.
You Have Complete Trust
Trust is one of the most important ingredients in a great friendship. When he or she tells you something that's meant for you alone, that's trust. When you keep such confidences, that's trust. When you avoid doing something that you wouldn't do if you were with him or her, that's also trust. Many friendships falter because of lack of trust.
You're Wiling to Take Risks
We fear being rejected or hurt, but unless we dare to love others, we will never be happy. Sometimes, it's important to leave the safety of our security blankets so that we can experience something new or something that would lead us to something better. Learning to take your friendship to new heights by doing something unprecedented is definitely worth the rsik.
thanks for the advice