You know when you reach a certain point in your relationship where you know you are either going forward or you need to put a stop to it. I think this is where a lot of people make huge mistakes.
First of all, if you are feeling anxious about your relationship and your partner is not, then clearly you are not on the same page. This might be a reason why you are feeling uneasy.
If you are simply thinking about where the relationship is going, there is no need to “attack” your partner with “where is this going?” This won't give you an answer; it will only generate frustration which will automatically put him or her on the defensive.
A great way to get a hint of where you are in your relationship is by presenting hypothetical situations. Say, you are thinking about taking a trip somewhere within the next year. Something like “oh, I was thinking of going to Europe next fall, I've always wanted to go.” A key response to look for here would be “that sounds awesome…where should we go?” There is excitement and no problem envisioning the relationship a year from now. A response that might send a flag up would be “why do you want to go there?” It's clear that the “you” statement does not imply the “us” scenario.
Of course relationships cannot be simply measure by theoretical conditions; that would just be too easy. If you can both discuss plans for the next year without either side getting uncomfortable, then you know you are on the same page. Don't mistake this for “marriage talk” though. Being comfortable is one thing, pushing for more is another. Enjoy the comfortable state of your relationship. This is the pivotal point of your relationship. If your partner can be comfortable with you, then that comfort transcends into a higher commitment level…naturally.
Ultimatum is the key to destroy a perfectly normal relationship. Very often you find people pressuring each other “it's me or your job”, “it's me or your friend”, and “it's marriage or nothing.” What are these accomplishing? Absolutely nothing! These taunts are reflective of the relationship insecurity. If the relationship is going to last, there is no choice to be made, it will work itself out…naturally.
People have lost sight of what it is that makes relationships work…compromise. Sided relationships are doomed. If you can't willingly put yourself aside for your partner, you are simply wasting each other's time. Relationships are tricky, but they are not rocket science. Thinking about someone before yourself clearly indicates that you are ready to commit and if your partner has no problem attending to your needs, then you are on the road to a successful and fulfilled relationship…naturally!
