How to Avoid the Dangers of Defined Sex

The first time that you decide to share your body with him can set the tone of the relationship. Many women have sex with a man before she understands what the man's intentions are. She doesn't have a clue as to her role or status in his life. It's like paying for a product before you know what's in the box. Some women say that they didn't plan or want to have sex with a man; they just didn't know how to say no.

Undefined sex is a situation where a person engages in the act of having sexual intercourse without clarity of where the relationship is going. The best way for a woman to avoid having sex with a man and then wonder if she is in a relationship is to be aware of and be prepared for situations where women are more likely to be vulnerable to undefined sex.

Signs of Undefined Sex

1. You have had sex with him, but you are not sure where the relationship is headed
2. After sex, you don't know when or if you will hear from him again
3. He never asks whether or not you are using birth control before, during or after sex
4. He only wants to spend time with you at night or if he is for sure you are going to have sex with him
5. You are sexually involved with him, but the only way that you can contact him is via his pager, cell phone or work number
6. While having sex with him, you think to yourself, “Why the hell am I here?”
7. You have been sexually involved for over 6 months and he has never introduced you to his friends or family. .

Undefined sex traps to avoid:

1. He wants to be your friend. He washes your car, picks your child up from daycare and loans you fifty-dollars for the light bill. You trust him emphatically. You tell him everything about your male partner and what you like and dislike about his love-making. His friendship feels just like your best female friends' the only tiny difference is --- he has a penis. But it's cool, until… after an argument with your mate you run to him for comfort and you find yourself making love to him. Now you are confused because you still love and want to be with your boyfriend. You're not sure if he is still your “friend” now that he knows more about you than the man you supposedly love and ruin a true friendship.
2. Don't be swept away in your emotions. Having sex with another person after a heated argument could ruin your relationship with your male partner and your male friend. Be honest with yourself about your emotions and how your actions can bring unwanted long-term consequences.
3. You know that your limit is two glasses of wine, but you decide to drink four. A woman disclosed that she awakened the next day after a first date with what appeared to be nice man that she had known for two years, nude and sore all over her body. She said that she had been drinking fuzzy navels that she bought herself. “I didn't recall having sex with but my body felt like I had been sexually active. I called my sister and told her that I felt that I might have been raped. She took me to the emergency room and they found traces of the date rape drug in my blood and three different samples of sperm.” Please don't forget to keep a close eye on your drinks and monitor how much you drink in social situations. Don't trust somebody else to look out for your well-being.
4. The restaurant was elegant and the food cost more than your entire outfit that you were wearing. He even allowed you to turn to your favorite radio station in his car. And what is that he is wearing? Yes, he smells good and cute to boot. But you are not ready to sleep with him because you really don't know that much about him.
5. You don't have his home phone number and you don't know where he lives. But, oooh he's so nice. This is not a reason to sleep with a man. You don't owe him sex no matter how nice he is to you. Have sex with a man because you want to not because you feel obligated. Your emotional, psychological and physical health is not for barter and trade.
6. You are crazy about him but he seems a little inconsistent and distant. Sometimes when he calls he talks as if you're just one of the guys, but when he tells you that he likes your new hair color, you feel that with a little more effort on your part you could reel him in. Having sex with him will not clarify his emotions or intentions for you. Because a man accepts sex from you this is not an indication of his feelings for you.
7. You've been fired from your job, gained 10 lbs and last week your car was stolen. You broke up with your boyfriend because you found out he had an affair with your coworker who took your job. You haven't been feeling like yourself lately and your self-esteem has been bruised by the recent events. The guy, who you thought you would never date in your right mind, can be appealing after you have been up crying all night. He asked you out in the past, but you politely turned him down because he was on probation. Things are different now and his gold tooth is attractive if you catch him at the right angle. Don't let your current situation define who you are. If he is not a man that you would have been interested in when you were riding high, getting involved with him at your low point will only make healing and getting on your feet take longer.

Knowing who you are and what you want at all times is the best way to avoid waking up in the arms or Mr. All Wrong in the attempt of making your life all right.