Breaking up is never easy. There are definitely some people that it is necessary to break up with. What do you do when the person is nice, but you just can't stand their neediness? What do you do when a person is mean to others, but seems to love you immensely? What do you do when the person is a habitual liar and you just don't know if you can trust them? These are the not so easy break ups, because there was no big blow out or fight or no real harm done. How do you do it in these cases?
Be Honest
As the old adage goes, "Honesty is always the best policy." Once I tried breaking up with a guy where I purely blamed myself. But I wasn't the reason that I wanted to break up. I knew that I didn't want to purely blame him, because I knew that he had these character flaws early in the relationship. I tried not blaming anyone. Then I didn't have anything to say, but its over, and its not you, it's me. So, in the end I had to be honest to clear my conscience and start no further problems.
Being honest is definitely not going to be the easiest task. It leaves you vulnerable. You are putting your heart on the table and then telling them that they can't have it. Now what will they do to your heart? That is basically what makes it hard. You may not want to see her cry. You may not want him to blow you off. You may just want to keep them smiling. Then again, how can you when you are leaving them alone?
Know What You Are Going to Say
Cliché as this may seem… practice in the mirror a few times. Write down what you are going to say. Get it right in your head. There is nothing like bringing up irrelevant information to make the conversation go awry. Then you are only picking bones and not being truly honest. Or you may say something that you will regret later. Know where you stand. And stand your ground. Before you get there for the conversation you should be sure that this is what you really want. There is no bigger turn off than indecisiveness.
Don't let a break up be a passion break up. I mean these things happen. But if you go over it in your head first, you may decide that it is silly and you want to work things out. So going over what to say first, can bring a lot of clarity and save you from possible heartache.
Say What You Gotta Say
Now you have practiced your honest approach and got it right. Don't forget to say it to him/her soon. Waiting will only prove to punk you out. Then you will stay where you are not happy. You will mull over it again and try to reconsider the inevitable. Don't do this to yourself. Go through with it. If you truly care for the other person, then you won't keep them in limbo on your decision.
I don't care if you have to read it off a piece of paper. Let the other person know how you feel. If you can't bear reading it, hand them the letter. I don't personally like this one, because it's so impersonal, but if you must, send them the letter or write them a note. Just let them know and let them know now! Waiting only makes it worse.
Stand Your Ground
Once you have honestly stated your resolve, and then stick with it. Walk away and don't turn back. If you decided to remain friends, then give yourself the needed time to get over the love feelings. If you decided that the person is no friend, then cut off all ties. There is nothing as bad as a roller coaster relationship. It zaps the life right out of you and puts extra baggage in your hands to take into the next relationship.
Love yourself enough to choose a mate that resonates with you and you resonate with them. You should never feel the need to change the one you are with. You should never change yourself for anyone else either. Happiness with your mate is very much possible. Don't try to fit the corner piece in the middle of the puzzle. Find the piece that goes next to it.
I hope this was helpful in some way. Be strong.
