The reason I write this tutorial is to help people not to waste their time in the case that their dates are certifiably crazy. Always bring your best friend along to get a good hard look at the date. Best friends do know best!
Recently, my very best friend, John, brought his recent girlfriend to our dinner gathering. Before the gathering, John told me about how wonderful this girlfriend was in many occasions. He told me that she is hot and caring, which was always good to hear that he was so excited about a new girlfriend, since his last broke up. He told me a bit of history about this girl; three of this girl ex-boyfriends just disappeared into thin air without a trace. In my mind, I thought of a possible serial killer, but my rational told me no. John was so upset about her ex boyfriends about how they could do this to this seemingly charming girl. At that time, I wanted to tell him that if three people left this girl without any notice, that could mean there was something significantly wrong with this girl, not the guys. I kept my lips tight because it was not my place to do a reality check on John at that time. I could really understand what those poor exes could have gone through with this girl, after I had the horrid dinner with John and this girl.
The girl was good looking, not hot, but decent. Strangely enough, I could spot something uneasy about her almost right away. Her eyes lacked focus when she talked to me, as if she was evading something. Look, I am not an intimidating person, but I do have a tendency to analyze people when I first see them due to my work background. However, I do it in such a covert way that people could hardly spot that I am reading them.
During dinner, it took her 5 minutes to order a 7-up, when I was eating my food, she glared at me like a starving animal.
“Why are you not eating?” She asked.
“I am just a bit full.” I replied
“Is the food not good, that's why you are not eating?”
“No, the food was good, I enjoyed it.”
“No, if the food was good, you should be finishing your plate, and “the” food is still on your plate!” She used her middle finger and pointed at the food on my plate.
It was rather uncomfortable, and I had never been confronted about what I should or should not eat my food. At the end, just to ease the intensity, I forced myself to have the last final spoon on my plate. In my heart, I wanted to scream, “what a controlling, impolite freak!” However, I needed to give my friend, John, some face, so I kept quiet. I always pay attention on people's table manner and causal talk because they can shed some lights on people's upbringing. This girl surely has some major issues going on. Most importantly, she does not have any class by using her middle finger pointing at my food.
After dinner, we went to sing karaoke. John has a GPS system in the car, which I really like because it points you to go to your destination rather efficiently. In fact, I have one also. This girl, she started wailing and screaming at John that he would take the GPS bitch (meaning the computer system) over her direction. She basically used all the foul terms in the whole American heritage dictionary that were used to degrade female to describe the GPS bitch. I was silence in the car, because I just did not know what I should do or response.
Finally, we landed the karaoke place, after listening to her nonsense for nearly forty minutes in the car. When we got into a small karaoke room, she ordered John to get her some drinks. For me, I don't like drinking when I am singing, so I did not order any. After a few drinks she was drunk, and she yelled at John for getting her the drinks. She started to scream in the karaoke room, jumping up and down like a monkey in wild. The only thing that she did not do was holding a banana in her hand. On the other hand, she swung the microphone over her head a few times, nearly breaking the expensive equipment. She actually spoiled the mood for me to sing, since she was cursing and acting peculiar the whole time. In sum, it was rather distracting to have an animal clawing on the floor while I tried to sing
At the end, john and I had to physically carry her out the room; she could barely walk at the time.
The karaoke waitress looked at us and gave us a look, as if we were using drugs in the room, which could risk their license. I gave the waitress good tip just because I like the place a lot, and I want to be welcomed again.
