As we date and dodge into and out of relationships, as women, we should know when something is at the lowest level, despite the sex and/or terms of endearment, and when there is interest that goes deeper than the surface interest that most young couples engage in. So, how do we tell when a relationship is serious, as compared to when you and the object of your affection are just “hanging out”? Well, let me introduce a couple of ways to determine what's going on.
Having “The Talk”
Now, this has always been a surefire way of knowing what's going on. But these days, not all couples have “the talk,” nor do they see a need for it. By the talk, I'm referring to that conversation you and your SO (Significant Other) share, the talk that usually begins the formal relationship, and supposedly end going out to meet people and “hanging out” with other girls or guys. The talk is a strange thing, though, because sometimes, it may happen at the weirdest times, say for instance, immediately after, or maybe even during (hey, it happens!) sex. It's also usually a conversation initiated by the guy, as they tend to lead formalities and making things official, the girl is usually game in most cases. You two simply state that it's safe to stop seeing other people, that you two have found what you need in each other, and it is a pleasant experience, as it seems to start a new era of the relationship. This is a sensible conversation to have when you want to take things to another level, but some people never have that talk. So, how are you to know when it's official without the talk? Read on…
Six Months of Respectful Consistency
When you're having fun with someone, six months can fly be, seeming almost like six weeks. But, if you hang out with someone consistently for six months straight, no breaks, and you two are doing everything that couples do, I think that six months is a reasonable time frame to say that you two are a couple. But by six months of consistency, I don't mean consistently sleeping together, or six months off and on, but six months of you two respecting each other's existence, likes and dislikes, and time. This includes the unspoken idea of your mate not being involved with anyone else, and just overall being respectful, as if you two are a sturdy couple. After six months of this, it is naturally assumed that you two are exclusive, and a relationship just sort of emerges.
Although there may be other ways to make it official, these are two tried and true methods I know that answer the question of “Am I still single?” It's no fun thinking you are doing your guy wrong if you get a phone number, just because you have been dating for a few months. Or thinking that he may be out getting wild with another, and he could care less what you think. Some couples jump into coupledom immediately-this voiding the necessity of a determination method. But when this is the case, be careful not to take things too fast, and keep your eyes open for any red flags.
