Over the weekend, my daughter and I watched movies at home. Many of the movies were about relationships, whether married or not and how some dealt with their cheating mate. Confused about the whole situation because some were forgiven and others were not, she asked “Mom, would you forgive dad if he cheated on you?”
The question caught me off guard and I knew my answer would affect my daughter and what she thought was acceptable in a relationship. I replied “I guess it all depends on why he cheated”. She gave me that perplexed look that dogs often give you when they tilt their head to the side when confused. So I tried to explain.
Cheatins is wrong no matter how you explain it or try to justify it. If a man is known to be addicted to cheating or cheating is a bad habit of his, then NO it would not be forgivable because the odds of them repeating the same offense again are more than likely.
If a man cheated due to unforeseen circumstances such as the wife has been ill for a long time, the wife and he have had intimate relations in more than 3 months, the couple have separated and not living together, or the man got stupid drunk and didn't know what he did until he woke up and the man was honest and cared enough to inform the wife; maybe and I have to emphasize maybe the wife will forgive him. Again, cheating is cheating no matter what the circumstance but it was a one time error and the man feels remorse and promised never to act like that again, some women will take the chance and forgive them.
The problem is not whether you are able to forgive the man or not. The problem is whether you can continue to trust the man. If you know in your heart you will not be able to trust him again or that you will continue to bring up this error, then you relationship will not last.
My daughter's honesty is something I admire most about her and she said “Then I would forgive him but could never be with him again no matter what the reason because I know I would never trust the man again. You are right a relationship cannot last if there is no trust”.
That would have been my initial response to her question but she needed to make the decision herself.
