Does your partner put you down in front of other people?
Does your partner constantly undermine your abilities and focus on perceived failures?
Does your partner complain and call you names over petty matters?
If you answer ‘yes’ to the above questions then you are being bullied in your relationship. Bullying is repeated oppression which occurs when there is an imbalance of power in favour of the oppressor. Bullying is another name for abuse.
Emotional abuse such as the above examples can be a precursor to physical violence. Abusers are often people who have little control over other areas of their lives. Constant verbal abuse lowers self-esteem, creates high levels of stress and anxiety, develops a ‘victim mentality’ and engenders feelings of hopelessness. Stress has many and varied symptoms from things like headaches, unexplained rashes, lowered immunity through to reactive depression, panic attacks and hypersensitivity.
How to change the situation? Firstly you need to recognise that you are not the one with the problem. It belongs to your partner, the abuser/bully. Take back control of your life! Realise that no-one has the right to verbally abuse you. This is domestic violence.
You need to build up your self-esteem by recognising that you have both strengths and weaknesses. Everyone has. Start concentrating on your strengths. If you have difficulty in working out your strengths, ask a friend to help. Finally you need to look at your life and see what are your other options. Today many people lack supporting networks and you may need to work with a psychologist.
It’s time to do something for yourself!
