Before you go shopping for a dress against your forth-coming wedding, it is necessary to know some of the reasons so many marriages are ending up in divorce courts.
A recent survey shows that up to fifty percent of marriages now end up in divorce courts before the kids from such wedlock attain adult level.
I know of a man who met the love of his life in bible school. They courted for three years before tying the knot. Even though they met in a godly environment, it still wasn't enough to stop them from heading to the divorce court when they got fed up with each other.
Just before their divorce, the man told his senior pastor that there was no way he would enjoy a peaceful life unless he's separated from the woman he once shared his dreams with.
The question is why are so many marriages failing these days?
Reasons most Marriages Fail
One major reason marriages fail could be traced back to when the individuals involved started dating. The popular saying goes: first impression lasts longer.
People desire to leave a long lasting impression on their first dates. In their attempt to leave this lasting impression, they end up creating fictitious personalities, which overshadows their real person as the relationship blossoms.
These fictitious personalities turn people into temporal actors playing a role in real life dramas. Once adopted, these personalities are difficult to give up over fear of being rejected by our spouses.
A second reason marriages fail is due to lack of exposure. People need to be exposed to a variety of options before getting married. If an individual views marriage from a microscopic point of view, he is bound to encounter difficulties with his spouse when the opportunity of gaining more exposure arises. The story told to you by your mom or your single parent uncle is not enough to prepare you for marriage, you need to read more books, you need to keep your doors open to the variety of information resources that have been created to address marital issues.
Thirdly, too many people think marriage is the same thing as courtship, in actual fact; they are different from each other. Marriage bears more responsibilities than courtship; it is a lifetime commitment, there are kids to be taken care of in marriage, a husband to love, meals to be prepared on a daily basis and so on.
In courtship, you only get to meet your partner twice or thrice weekly and only for a short period of time. You are provided with a longer period of time to prepare for your partners short visit. Courtship comes with lesser responsibilities.
The danger it poses is that it advertises what marriage does not have to offer.
In marriage, you get to sleep on the same bed with your partner every night, seven days a week, 365 days a year. If your partner is the type that snores, you have no choice but to live with it too.
The fourth reason marriages fail is due to our human nature. Humans tend to be attracted to the outward rather than the inward appearance. We are more concerned about that which we can see with our eyes; whatever attractive thing we see with our eyes is what our hearts want us to go after.
In going after these outward beauties, we always make the mistake of not searching what lies in the inside of that which we go after.
This is one reason you can hear of a man talking about marriage to a girl he hardly knows. He must have been attracted to her because of her great hips and well-endowed body. In such cases, all the man is really after is a right of ownership to the woman's great body.
It is no longer news that most women are attracted to men who cruise around town in choice cars, and men who put on expensive jewelries. They also prefer men who own apartments located in the best part of town.
If you are attracted to a person based on the things he acquired with money, or merely because of a great sexy figure, you are bound to encounter marital problems later in life. This is because your mind is solely fixed on the outward appearance. This type of attraction will deny you of the opportunity to gain proper knowledge of the person you are attracted to.
In such cases, when the wealth disappears, the woman in this case will feel cheated.
As for the man who marries a woman because of her body, as soon as she begins to add weight and stretch marks starts to take over most of her body, the man will also feel cheated by her. When people begin to feel cheated in a relationship it leads to separation.
On a fifth note, most people get married because they are searching for an avenue to enjoy legally approved sex. To such people, marriage is all about sex.
Those who get married because they are searching for an avenue to enjoy sex always end up disappointed when they discover the great responsibilities that accompany marriage.
It is only true love that has been tested to be the reason a man and a woman should come together to become one. Singles are advised to shun all forms of materialism. They should be attracted to people based on what lies on the inside of them than vice versa.
A man and woman are expected to love each other unconditionally before coming together to say, “I do”.
On a final note, we should be aware that there is no relationship that will not go through crisis, but when such crisis comes, if the love is genuine, the relationship will survive.
It will not only survive, it will also automatically be strengthened.
