Some glitch or space or editing call edited out this second part of this article.
Just wanted to offer the punch-line…..
Now, since four divorces, one separation and a few women found themselves devastated when the “man-on-the-side” disappeared…I offer suggestions from the women themselves(!) on how to avoid “Love with the Proper Stranger.”
• Channel all the “temptations” – especially the “Men in Trees” and “Desperate Housewives” type of yearning – into your primary relationship. “I fell in love with my husband all over again, after sixteen years of marriage,” Solange told me in her broken English. He accused her of having an affair. They are European and living in California ; Solange KNOWS Pierre is seeing other women. But she feels good about herself.
• Redirect all the impulses to “stray” through a greater commitment to work, kids and again, husband. Concentrate on what you have and run a mental checklist of what you stand to lose. Somehow, computers are left open “accidentally” and triple x-rated emails are discovered by spouses; a friend called a friend when she expected a man's wife to exit the ladies' room where they gathered at a local movie theatre. When a long, tall British version of the husband's wife emerged, he introduced Kate as a “friend” of Sara and mine. Seconds later, the onlooker whipped out her cell phone and told Sara what she had seen. “I know. He goes to the movies to ‘clear his head'. The same could be exactly true of the opposite (female) sex and in Kate's case, it was!
• Make a list of all the things you have always wanted to do: learn Italian or Mandarin Chinese, roll sushi, play tennis, start a book or movie club group, begin running, train for a marathon. Learn to masturbate. (Read books, watch videos!) Take up knitting. Tutor kids or prisoners. Get weekly manicures. These may seem poor substitutes for great orgasms, and let's face it, but most guys who cheat with married women do not care about whether they get great orgasms.
• Do not meet anyone online at sites offering “intimate connections” or some variation on the theme. The men, the women have told me, are serial “men-on-the-side” and often simply change “Screen Profile names” and dump a woman after three weeks or three years and move onto a new “pool” of waiting, hungry-for-attention” women.
• Without admitting the impulse that has your mind wandering to look for extramarital love “in all the wrong places”, could you talk openly about wanting to spice up your love life, now that the kids are a little older, and so are you?
• Even better, for your birthday (his may be a tad obvious to the skeptical and sophisticated guy) tell your husband you want “a month of sex” or an “exotic weekend away.”
• If he doesn't seem overwhelmed or motivated, rent some x-rated movies from Netflix.
• Buy lingerie and model it for him.
• If you're overweight or out of shape, begin a big deal diet and exercise regime and announce that you want to improve your health and whisper “you want him to be turned on by you.”
• Ask him questions about work; watch football with him; be his friend.
Maybe, just maybe, you'll fall in love all over again. And he will too. If your results aren't great, it's time to reevaluate. But at least you'll be doing it from a position of strength and insight and an itch that needs to be scratched. The sooner you figure out where you are in your marriage, the sooner you'll be more “satisfied.”
And in the words of Mick Jagger, “you can't always get what you want…but if you try sometimes, you just might find…you get what you need.”
Go get it, baby!
