Figuring how to let go after being dumped by someone you cared about or even loved is probably one of the most heart-breaking things to deal with in your life aside from death. It can sometimes feel as though someone died to you for how much pain you will suffer. Yet, keep in mind your life is not over and there's so much more to come that is both good and bad. Letting go may take a little while to deal with but eventually you will survive.
I was going to get married to a man about six years ago and he broke my heart when he told me he was going to get back together with his ex-wife. I was devastated and felt it was all my fault. I tried calling him to talk to him and find out why he wanted to do this. I wanted him to know how much he hurt me, but he didn't want to talk anymore about it. This was a big mistake on my part. In order to heal from a break-up you cannot call the person. Ending any contact with the person will only help you move on. Like I said, it was like a death in my life. I couldn't see him anymore or talk to him anymore. I wanted to die. I probably stayed away from everyone for about two days. I wallowed in my sorrow for that time and then realized I need to move on since he apparently did and I was only hurting myself by staying away from everyone. I had great friends who were truly supportive of me.
Another step in letting go is to talk about it with family or friends. My friends were so angry with this man that they wanted to confront him but I didn't want this. I just needed to deal with the situation. I recognized that I was never going to see him again and that was the way it was. I didn't see anyone right after the break-up but I began to start dating after three months. I was still hurting but I knew I was able to handle meeting new people. I wasn't ready for an steady relationship however. I had made a list of things I didn't want to repeat in my next relationship in order to improve rather than make the same mistakes. I got rid of all of the pictures I had in my house of him and put them away. As the saying goes, out of sight, out of mind. I avoided any place I thought he would be in until I was fully ready to stand against him if I had seen him.
Today, I am a better person for experiencing such a situation and I hope he is happy with his new wife. However, letting go is tough and if you follow the following steps you should manage just fine and become a stronger person with more appreciation for life.
- Mourn your loss of the relationship. Give yourself a chance to heal.
- Talk about it with people who care about you.
- Accept the situation and do not call or contact the person again.
- Make a list of things that you don't want to ever happen again in a relationship that you experienced in this one.
- Avoid places that the person goes to on a regular basis until you fully heal.
- Do not engage in sex right away and definitely do not do drugs or drink excessive amounts of alcohol to get away from your pain.
- Take a vacation or a break and simply enjoy life for several days.
