Looking for Love

Everybody should get what they want, but they don't. Be realistic. If everyone got who they want there would be a string of Brad Pitt and Denzel Washington look alikes, one for each of their female fans. When you're looking for love sometimes you just have to settle. This is not always a bad thing. Its fine to settle for someone who has maybe eight of the qualities that are "must haves" on your list of desired characteristics. You can settle for the person who is eighty percent of "what you always dreamed of." But let's get one thing straight, the one thing you can not and definitely must not try to get along without is "chemistry." Who knows exactly what chemistry is? But without that spark that causes each partner to long for the moment when they can get together, there is nothing. When you feel that electricity in the beginning of your relationship, it can develop into the "best friends and lovers" kind of relationship that will actually keep you content till death. If you don't feel it, and you want to settle, maybe because the other person has many other fine qualities, it would be wise to turn and run while you can get away. When you experience the chemistry, you'll understand exactly why waiting and continuing the search is worth it.

When I say "settle" I mean if he or she leaves clutter or dirty socks around you may have to put up with to get his or her honesty, sense of humor, whatever is important to you. Its a trade off. Chemistry will make it worthwhile to allow the other person to have a few faults. The chemistry compensates. Without it the boredom will become unbearable.

WHO HAS THE UPPER HAND

Watch out guys. There are devious women out there. You may want to love em and leave em. They may look at you as a "keeper". But if you don't already know from life's hard lessons, the smartest man doesn't stand a chance at outsmarting the determined woman, not on his best day and not on her worst day. Its simply not a level playing field... Who do you think invented perfume for instance.

I mean seriously. We are dealing with a man who thinks about lovemaking all the time. I think it was once a minute last time I heard. A woman can enjoy lovemaking. She doesn't crave it. Sounds like an unfair advantage to me. Now sooner or later every woman and every man are "probably" going to want to get married. Ask yourself, if there were no such thing as lovemaking, "Is this a person I would enjoy hanging out with for oh let's see forty years?"

After day three would we still find something to talk about? Most importantly (the movie "War of the Roses" comes to mind). "If you had a heart attack, how fast would he get to the hospital?"

IF YOU WANT TO GET MARRIED

If you really want to get married look for someone who is equal to you in appearance but not way better. Be realistic. You and millions of others aren't going to end up with a Brad Pitt lookalike. In most cases the millionaire's kid isn't going to be out searching for the guy who is broke. There are always exceptions but being on the same level educationally makes communication more enjoyable. If you have movie star aspirations, your pretty but not outstanding looks will keep you out of the competition for "the movie star." Most of us have to face reality when looking for a mate. Of course there are exceptions that turn out well. (Sarcastically spoken) Take Julia Roberts and Lyle Lovette for example.

Its a pretty safe bet that everyone can find someone to marry. But guys, why just settle? Is that dude who "might" look for a job next week if he wakes up early enough what you will settle for? Or maybe the woman who really wanted to go to Nashville and become a country singer but she's "settling" for marriage to you. Will you settle for her wanting you by default? If you can't have someone who will enhance your life instead of annoying you for forty years you are better off alone...