Many of us were or are or will be face the choices between them. Personally, I don't believe in pure friendship between men and women, there is a kind of friendship called platonic friendship.
I have been pondering on this permanent topic for a long time, and I am still tumbled by it. Therefore, I want to share with you about what I am thinking of friendship and love, with an intention to seek more profound thoughts on the topic.
Pure friendship is the flower without thorn, so is the pure love. Unfortunately, it is not always the case. Friendship can lead to love affairs in the relationship as husband and wife. Love is in the sense of marriage under this circumstance. Actually, friendship needs love, which is unconditional and no sex relationship. Though there are some who have sex relationship and they are still friends - not husband and wife, friendship is friendship, and love is love. They are different.
When we talk about the friendship between workmates, classmates, etc., we are talking about pure friendship, without considering the possibility some friendship may be ended with marriage. I admire this kind of friendship, for it is so wonderful and full of magic color of life. My life is enriched by this friendship. Nevertheless, I find it is hard to balance between love and friendship, and this beauty in life can only last like a flash in pan. Do you feel the same? When you dance with your male or female friends, what is your feeling? Have you ever think about something betraying pure friendship? Particularly when you are your heterosexual friend stay alone in a romantic bar, you talk and drink and laugh freely, letting out all your feelings. Why is it the case? Do you still believe that you can have nothing in mind but friendship under this situation? Even you can control yourself, there is no way to ensure that your heterosexual friend can, right?
Sometimes, when you stay along with your family members for a long time, you will find that you are bored with the family life. At this time, if there are some friends invite you for a party, you would be very happy about it. Does it mean that you cherish friendship more? No. Absolutely not. Life is just like this: when you are accustomed to something, you will gradually lose your interest in it, including love with your family members. However, friendship has the magic power to avoid this kind of feeling in our inner world. I think that it is because that friendship usually keeps our friends and us with a certain distance, and the distance makes the friendship more attractive than love, sometimes.
Of course, when you stay with your heterosexual friend alone, and there is a great passion revoked by either side, you may lose control of yourself to keep the distance. Thus, the friendship is ruin, most likely. Even worse, the friendship may be terminated if you feel that it is a sin to do so with your friend after you are married. This is only one example. Actually, there is bad friendship, too. Some friends may try to persuade you to gamble, to kill, to prostitute, etc. What kind of friendship! Therefore, we advocate healthy friendship.
When we talk about love, we find that there is an ingredient in it -it is friendship. If you can master the art of making friends with your family members, you will find that there is something making your family happy and energetic, besides love. Love, in this sense, is related to blood and flesh. In Chinese, there is a phrase “xiang jing ru bin”, which means that relationship between a husband and wife should be good friends, too. Only in this way, the family can last for a life time. See, friendship in family relationships is very important for us to have a happy and lasting family.
Friendship cannot go without love (in a sense of caring each other, not sex oriented), and love cannot go without friendship. Though they are different and their functions in our life are different, they share the same goal - to make our life colorful and full of happiness. Without each of them, we cannot live on this planet; without either of them, we would be lonely to death. They are key ingredients in our life, and we cannot live without them.
So, cherish your friendship, and don't be mean with your love to the persons that you like and love. Your true friends are your treasures, and the love from your friends and family members is as valuable as your real friendship.
This is my thoughts about love and friendship, and I think that there are more for me to probe on this topic later. Wish you could share yours with me.
