Everyone wants their marriage to last and be happy. In fact, most married couples are happier than most singles. Marital bliss is a state that begins at the altar, but continues far into the future when things are done right.
The honeymoon stage of any marriage should at least outlast the honeymoon. This stage is characterized by infatuation, sex, passion, curiosity, and a high degree of tolerance for the idiosyncracies of your partner. Just a cursory glance at this list will tell you that it is not realistic to expect this stage to endure throughout a marriage. Too many obstacles must be confronted and overcome that will erode some of the honeymoon components.
This does not mean that a marriage cannot continue to be a satisfying partnership and relationship for years to come. Many have proved that this type of marriage can last a lifetime. The marriage that is based on the honeymoon emotions and dreams alone will fail eventually if the transition to a more permanent relationship is not achieved.
To maintain marital bliss beyond the honeymoon, infatuation has to become a deep loving attachment to another human being. Inner traits gradually replace outer appearance as the drawing card that attracts you to your partner. You develop an appreciation for the person and not just the image that first caught your attention. This rarely happens for young people before the marriage. It becomes a part of the adjustment period in the early months and years after the “I do's.”
Honesty must fill the marital relationship for bliss to be a permanent resident. Lies and deceit only weaken the bonds that hold a couple together. Without honesty, trust erodes not just in the bedroom, but in finances and most other areas of the marriage. The lack of honesty normally happens in two areas. Sex and money are the big two.
Without trust, two cannot walk together in marriage. The key is to become each others partner in accountability in these areas. Pay the bills and do the banking together and money will never become a huge issue as long as one partner does not become selfish or addicted.
Sex and affection are often linked together. Letting your affections move toward another person will almost always lead to the temptation of marital infidelity. Sex can stand alone, but it usually does so when the relationship is failing in other areas. Looking for acceptance and something resembling attention and love, a partner can stray. Keep the bedroom working. Avoid the pitfall of becoming too busy for one another. Make dates and schedule a hot evening now and then.
Learn to listen more than you talk. Relationships are mostly about the other person. If each partner can remember this, the marriage will thrive. Take care of each other. When you become more of a giver than receiver, every relationship works better.
Do things together to build a life of being connected to each other and not other people. The need to work can rob ten or more hours per day from your time together. Work hard to take some of this time back. As you spend more time together, your relationship should grow stronger and better. Longer vacations and holidays without the crowd of your family can be a plus to any marriage.
Finally, express your affection for your mate at every opportunity. Showing it is great, but most people get great comfort in hearing it spoken. Do not fear to say, “I love you.” After all, you did once or you would not be married. Keep saying from your heart. Everyday is not too often.
