Men: How to Handle a Breakup

We’ve all been there at one point or another:  Sitting at home, alone, flipping through the channels on our television – though we’re not really watching anything.  In fact, we’re more or less just staring off into the distance.  Every inkling of a noise that our phone makes draws our complete and total attention:  Is it a call?  A text? 

Being dumped is a hard process on any individual, man or woman.  In our society, however, men are usually thought to handle the qualms of heartbreak without too much pain, though that usually isn’t the case.  Perhaps it’s our own stubborn fault, as we’re often too prideful to admit that we’re hurting.  Unfortunately, there is not many pieces of literature out there that aims to help a man experiencing heartache. 

I’ve got a friend who was recently dumped after a three year relationship.  The girl told him that he had changed too much over the past few years, and that she couldn’t go on loving the “new him.”  This, of course, caused a snowball affect in his mind – he called every single person he could and asked them to forgive him for changing.  He and I talked a lot during this period of time, because he couldn’t find any literature to assist him in his time of need.  I gave him every bit of breakup advice I could, and that is what I wish to pass on to you, the reader.

Before the Storm Hits

In all honesty, when a relationship is falling apart, there are tale-tale signs.  Often times, a woman will make up her mind to end a relationship days, or even weeks, before she actually sets anything in stone.  Perhaps she is sub consciously giving the male one last chance of redemption, or perhaps she is simply weary of the events to come.  If you know what you’re looking for, the end may not come as such a surprise.  Here are a few of the classic signs that the end is inevitable:

Heightened Aggression

When a woman decides that things aren’t really working out as well as she had hoped, she will place the man in a certain category.  Though I’m sure there has been much social scientific study into this category, there isn’t a formal name for it.  We’ll call this category “I sleep with you, but you annoy me.”  Once the man is in this category, anything he does (be it trying to cuddle, a hug, making a joke about her shoes) will warrant a swift and immediate reaction, usually sparking an argument.  If this happens more than once a day for an extended period of time, you can be sure that things will end soon.

Communication Breakdown

Unlike men, women tend to communicate beyond surface level only with people they can trust (while men will tell anyone anything that is on the mind).  One thing to be sure to pay attention to is the level of communication with the female.  If conversations never take a turn into the trust-zone area of communication, the woman has most likely placed you into the category mentioned above.  Surface deep conversations can only bring a couple along so far, and women know that.

Different Interests

A lot of times when a woman dumps a man, she will also dump many of the things in her life that she associates with the man.  Music, television shows, fragrances, movies, restaurants, hair color, clothes and even certain friends are all things that women may change to purge the memory of a man.  If you notice a severe change in her lifestyle, you can be sure that the end is most likely near.  Be clear on this one though, because women tend to change their mind often, and men don’t need unnecessary stress. 

The Fault Game

Many times when a relationship ends, the instigator of the breakup will place most, if not all of the blame on the other party.  I’ve seen this take place a thousand times, rarely in our society are the words “it’s not you, it’s me” ever really spoken by a woman. 

It is important to remember that 99 percent of the time with a breakup, no one party is to blame.  Women can tell you that you’re different until they are blue in the face – and you’re most likely going to believe her.  Why, after all, would she lie?