You can get rid of photos, you can discard all the letters, notes and memorabilia of the past, you can even quit listening to those special songs that catapulted that love you once found, but in a flash of a fleeting thought, it's all of the mental pictures that will remain.
Life and love are truly splendid things that should not be taken for granted. I assure you if you have found what you think to be your soul mate, your lover and your forever friend, hang on to those precious memories as in a moment they can all be deleted in a just a click of a button.
I have always reflected on my life and loves only to think of the most special times; ones that will continue to put a smile on my face, a leap in my heart and every now and again a chuckle under my breathe.
In recent weeks I have experienced this new trial and error of dating~ only to come to the realization that in even pushing myself to get out there and mingle again, I may not even be ready. This brings about many reservations in my mind, it brings about cautiousness and causes me to remember things I either would rather try to forget or on the flip side several memories or mental pictures that I can't stop seeing within my mind. But to say I am not trying would not be correct, as I so am. It's getting better all the time. Learning to trust my emotions, learning to laugh and smile and not feel guilty for just enjoying life after some time now is such a major breakthrough. I am learning about healthy relationships and it's a wondrous thing.
You see the mind is a very powerful organ, one that stores too many emotions, snapshots and even those scars of life in one way shape or form. I have a tendency to believe that the mind can slip backwards when the heart is broken, wounded and possibly beyond repair-or so we think…
However, we either want it repaired or we may not. There are many facets of the mind, will and emotions that each one of us has to deal with from time to time. Most of the time our mindset needs to be recalibrated, sort of like the mercury in your thermostat on your a/c system. Every so often the mercury tube tends to get a tad bit off in degrees and you start to realize that what you set the temperature to eventually is off a few degrees higher or lower and in turn you decide to have the system serviced in order for it to operate at its full potential. So it is with our hearts and minds, a recalibration must take place in order to operate in a healthy future in relationships, with family, friends and new loves.
I suppose it is never an easy process, this cleaning or servicing of the heart and mind. Too many of us have these mental pictures so deeply etched in our memory bank that it seems easier to just try and sweep those old things under the rug so to speak. However, they may seem invisible to the naked eye, they are never hidden from those who put them there.
We can erect walls around our hearts never to have to come to terms with any of these issues. We are capable of locking people out that may have a profound affect on what could be the best thing for our initial healing. Some can come along to just plant seeds, others to water and even some come into our lives to help us in the harvest. Thing is, are we willing participants? Are we frightened of allowing someone to see so deeply into our thoughts fearing that if we let them get too close we may get burned, wounded or for that matter, we might just learn to love again? It makes you wonder what it causes you to want to get close to someone for a time then all of a sudden you make this decision to back away and be all alone again. It's almost like taking two steps forward then taking one step back. However, to be positive I am taking more forward steps now than backwards!
For some of us, we may be asking ourselves why we can't seem to move on. What keeps us on this roller coaster that we can't seem to get off of? Is it a mental high? Is it the thought of becoming so vulnerable to someone that keeps us so uncomfortable? Is it those mental snapshots that we tend to live for? Could it be that we are never really over that true love and maybe we should try to make it work again? Or possibly, as a good friend recently shared with me, maybe we just like to torture ourselves during this time.
