If you're a typical adult in your "mid-somethings," chances are pretty good these days that you can be found on the dating scene again. Getting back into the game can be either exciting or excruciating depending on the knowledge you bring to the experience. Many middle-aged folks tend to feel intimidated at the thought of dating again, with reasons that can range from the costs of dating to enduring a heartless rejection from someone you thought was the bees knees. But, fear not! With the right attitude and helpful facts, getting back in the saddle can be a lot of fun if not a valuable learning experience. And, who knows, in time, your dating adventures may lead you to the love of your life.
The first rule of thumb when getting back into the dating game is to keep your expectations at a realistic level. Some have advised to have no expectations at all. But that may be a stretch. You should at least expect your potential date to behave with a certain set of good manners, not to mention having posible thumbs. Seriously though, the following are some important red flags for first dates:
- tardiness
- rude behavior to a waiter or waitress
- dominating the conversation
- not asking any questions about you
- flirting with other men or women in your company
- not offering to pay the bill
- constantly checking his watch or cell phone
- answering a cell phone or making a call
- dressing inappropriately for the occasion
- using language or subject matter that makes you feel uncomfortable
And that list is a work in progress! Of course, you may or may not agree with some of these red flags, but you'll have to decide for you self, your level of tolerance. Everyone is different, and what bugs Sally might just swoon Sue.
Internet dating has become popular with the mid-somethings since that age group is less apt to be found partying in local bars. Technology has a ways to go, but most of the popular dating sites have been deemed fairly safe to use. Let your good common horse sense be your guide. And when in doubt, get an opinion about a potential date from someone you trust. Once you "cyber-meet" someone who seems compatible (and their writing skills seem to be above third-grade level), you may decide to actually meet them. Yes, get out from behind that keyboard and let them see the "real you!" But remember, always meet in a public place that is well-lighted and busy, preferably during the day. It's always a good idea to meet your date at a location that's convenient for both of you. Never have him or her drive to your home to pick you up unless you have been dating for a while and are certain that future encounters will be safe and pleasant ones. Safety is the name of the cyber-dating game.
It's never too late to get back into the game. There are so many people out there who have so much to offer. Just like you! And, while you do risk a heartache now and then, it's important to remember the old adage "nothing ventured, nothing gained." Good luck!
