The Toy Boy
A lot of women think this would be great fun and assume the sex would be fantastic. They forget that experience really does matter and that the fumbling of an inept lover is not actually that exciting. Still sex is not everything, so what about the rest of the relationship?
She is actually slightly ashamed of him. When they met his age was the reason she didn't ask him out she liked him a lot, but he was too young. However he asked her weekly until she relented so they stared dating and soon were very much an item. A lot of the time they get on fine, but she is not satisfied. The shame of walking into a room filled with her smartly dressed friends with him, in a baseball cap and jeans, still mortifies her. His idea of treating her to a nice evening out is to let her choose which pub they go to. His friends don't understand at all; they point out to him that he could have a girl of his own age. Although he is not unfaithful, when she is not around he is tempted. He is too young to seriously consider settling down, and does not yet have the responsible attitude she would want in the father of her children. She knows that if she waits until he is ready she will be too old.
Someone much younger is unlikely to ever be a real partner. They may be fun, but they will not understand you. The chances are you will have completely different sets of friends and then there are always younger and more attractive women.
I do know a couple of women who are with a younger man and who are happy there are always exceptions.
There are young men who say they prefer the older woman and for some their history may prove this. Dig a little deeper and I would be willing to bet you will find he is looking for a mum. If I want to look after and mother someone, I will find a man with whom I can have children. If he was born after you started junior school, he is a bad idea.
The Controlling Man
This is the type who sees the woman in his life as a possession, and who thinks he can educate or change her. Sometimes he believes he is doing it for the woman's own good. This may be motivated by mere perfectionism, but it can also be an attempt to get the woman to resemble a past lost love, or a sign of low self esteem. Either way, this man is not looking for a relationship in the normal sense.
He tells her when she is allowed to go out, and who she is allowed to see. He reads all her text messages, and more often than not when her friends contact her, the response actually comes from him. Although they both work, he controls all the money. Her wages go into a joint account to which he keeps all the cards, cheque books etc only letting her have money when he deems it necessary. She cannot do anything without asking his permission. At home he likes to do the cooking and he decides what they would like to watch on TV. He expects her to do the cleaning and to tidy up behind him. He buys her clothes for her, and has to approve the colour before she dyes her hair. She is not herself anymore. She is just his wife.
The Older Man
At my age there are not so many of these around, but in my younger days there was an epidemic of them!
This mature male preys on a very young girl, attracted to her looks, and able to take advantage due to her naivety. The chances are this is just about sex, but even where it is not, it won't be long before they realize they have very little in common.
He tells her constantly she is mature for her age, and she is young enough to still think that flattering. She sees him as a token of her maturity, in her mind the relationship with him proves the point to her over protective parents, who naturally disapprove. He sees her as proof he has still got it', and brags to his friends that he can still pull a young girl. Now she is a little older than when they first got together and the novelty value of this relationship has started to wear off. She sometimes looks at him and sees an old man, and finds him repulsive. He is starting to see a mature woman who will argue with him, rather than the easily manipulated young girl he first met. She is no longer flattered by him; she has heard it all before. When they are out his eyes have started to wander in the direction of younger women; those around the age she was when they first met.
If you need a father figure, talk to your Dad, or find a substitute father in a good friendship with an older man. There is no need to sleep with him. Your boyfriend or husband should be your equal.. The married man.
