On Gods and Love

Maybe you were never my Eros. If that's the case, what comes before Love? I am Psyche, I am Soul... searching for Love. You cannot have one without the other. You could not have been my Orpheus, or my Narcissus... although you were rather obsessed with your own reflection. Empty empty eyes. And I don't see how you could possibly have been my Hades, although I kept coming back to you, however horribly you treated me.

Maybe you slowly morphed back and forth between all four. Yes, I suppose that would make the most sense. You, an actor, the most deft of them all at spinning lies, cleverly switching personas to make me believe whatever you wanted me to.

You used to be Eros. We would slow dance atop park slides at midnight or make love on baseball diamonds. You longed for me constantly, spoke of my beauty, and wanted to be with me always. We were each other's hearts and thoughts, and that was enough for the both of us.

Yet Psyche doubts something this beautiful cannot be real. Love leaves her.

You were Orpheus for a time. Your song so enchanting, so moving, saved me from the depths of the underworld. I could dance to the rhythm of your voice all night, I longed to croon sweet duets about love and life with you. You looked back.

I could no longer be what I had been... and started the downhill journey of a goddess turned mortal without your integrity.

And then came Narcissus. Obsessed with your own beauty and charm, I was almost completely forgotten. Your time was spent trying to seduce your own reflection, and I daresay you nearly succeeded. I was no longer your love... the only love you had to give was to yourself.

Yet still I was persuaded by you, away from my companions...

And thus abducted by Hades. The god of the dead. And in a way, you were dead. My Eros had certainly died it seemed, slowly murdered by the consequences of time and change. And although various forms of Demeter tried to persuade me to come back to reality, I was still tied to you. Your Persephone... a broken queen of the underworld. Does she love Hades? Or does she still dream that maybe one day she will become Soul again, and that Eros will return to her?

She does indeed. Perhaps he will take a different form, or perhaps he will simply mature and realize he is missing his Soul. Or maybe not. Until Love decides to return, however that may be, whomever that may be...

I will utter a prayer that one day you may know what it feels like to love with no return of affection.

Now I begin my search for immortality.