Now that we've been married for almost three years and endured three deployments, I suppose it's safe to let the cat out of the bag: my husband and I technically only dated a few weeks in person before embarking on a long distance relationship over the course of one 7 month deployment, after which he came back and married me only a couple months later. That's not the only thing most people don't know. Not only did we overly “exaggerate” to several family members and friends upon first introductions regarding how long we'd dated, but we also often concealed how we met: The Internet.
That's right. It's not as taboo as it was a few years ago, but it still causes some raised eyebrows when we tell our story.
Once upon a time, in a dull and rainy city south of Seattle-Olympia, but most people don't know it's the capital-I was in my early twenties and burned out on boys. I say boys because there were no decent single men around.
I was living on my own, working full-time at a job that gave me little to no interaction with anyone even close to my age-and had a hard enough time finding a new girlfriend my own age to hang out with, let alone a guy for a movie date. All the guys in the area were losers still stuck in high school land, whose brain cells had been permanently damaged by pot and whose only concerns in life were their video games and skateboards.
I admit, I tried the skate girl scene, once, but it wasn't all it was cracked up to be. I found myself stranded in the middle of a half-pipe with little kids skating around me and making me look like an idiot. I had other life pursuits and was tired of being placed second next to a board on wheels. I'd given up on finding anyone truly “Christian” at church as that hadn't worked out well the last time.
As a last ditch effort to make friends, I reached out to the internet. I didn't intend to meet my “match” as much as I was just looking for some new friends.
A few phones calls and a flopped in-person date with another internet prospective later, I wasn't sure if this was going to work out. However, a few phone calls with one interesting individual turned into a few more, and then finally a date. One coffee date turned into a few dates.
He had to fly out for training for a week with his job, and while he was gone called to ask if we could be exclusive. I had no objections. He was back just as soon as he had left, and the next thing I knew, we flew down to California to meet all his relatives, visited some of my relatives in Oregon, and then drove over to Idaho to meet his parents.
Just. Like. That.
It all happened so fast, but at the same time wasn't completely unreal either. I'm normally someone with a pretty level head on my shoulders, fairly cautious and require a long time to make up my mind about things. This was different, this was one of those things you just know-you know that you know, and you don't know how you know, but you just know. We both “just knew.” He actually knew before me, but didn't take long to persuade me.
He was everything all the other guys weren't and more. It was as though I'd only ever encountered what I didn't want to the point I wasn't even sure what I wanted anymore, I just knew what I didn't want. Then he came along and I was finally experienced what I'd been missing.
He pursued me and swept me off my feet, though I still wondered if he wasn't too good to be true. I trusted him, but I still had to enforce some security measures up front “just in case” he was the next axe murderer's face appearing on America's Most Wanted.
For our first few dates, I set a curfew and (half jokingly, half seriously) threatened that if I wasn't back by that time that my friends had all his identification information (license plate, driver's license, etc.) and would know he was the primary murder suspect, though I was partly bluffing. The truth is that I didn't think about all that until the last minute when I was getting into the car with him for the first time. I don't know if he could tell I was bluffing or not, but somehow, it impressed him.
