Red Flags in New Relationships

Sometimes when we meet great guys, it's hard to see the forest for the trees. And this can be for a variety of reasons: he could have arrived in a very timely fashion, when we were lonely and feeling as if we would never find anybody; he could say all the things you want to hear and seem like the perfect gentleman; or you could be just desperate as heck, and needed someone very soon…

These may or may not be the reasons why, but I'm sure that if you think long and hard, and take a step out of denial, it'll fall into one of these categories. But in these early stages of relationships, it's important that we, as women, are able to identify bloody red flags. We should take precautionary measures to ensure that we don't end up hurt or make it to his disposable pile, because some guys out there just aren't right-and they don't know how to be. Following is a list of things you should look out for in those early stages, before he has proven that he wants to be with you for who you are. Although everything is not listed here, those huge red flags, you know, the ones that should beep like a truck in reverse, I tried to cover.

1. Action: He's slowly moving into your place.
   Explanation: Every guy should have some level of stability at home so that disables them from crashing at your place on the regular. A responsible male will have a decent home, and unless he lives with his parents (red flag within itself), he should have some desire to go to his own place. And if you want to spend every second that you're awake together, why spend every second that you're asleep together, as well? Save that for your husband!
2. Action: He asks to borrow things, like your car… And $40… And $20 more…
   Explanation: It's one thing when someone asks to borrow something when they already have it, but don't have access to it at the moment. If you're hanging out with friends, and it's more convenient for you to toss him $20 than it is to find an ATM machine, then that's perfectly okay. But when you're asked for money on a regular day, this guy is obviously broke. If he is, in fact, broke, he should be actively looking for work. There's no harm in helping, either. If you need him around so bad, take him where he needs to go when you can. Otherwise, let him call someone to haul him around-you shouldn't be his personal taxi or rent-a-car system.
3. Action: He is only available during certain hours-consistently.
   Explanation: This guy probably has a “main girl” that takes up a majority of his time. Relationships, especially new ones, are things of spontaneity, and this usually involves spending late, late nights together when one or both of you have something to do the next morning; or maybe it involves getting together on a boring Saturday and going to the zoo. Although relationships naturally fall into a routine, it should never begin on a strict schedule, with him providing hours of availability.
4. Action: He always does all the calling and never answers when you call him.
   Explanation: This shows that this guy wants to manage the flow of the relationship for whatever reason this may be. But in any situation that involves two able-bodied adults, communication should be open and you should be able to reach him by the same means that he reaches you. If a guy never answers the phone for you, and he's not at work, it's probably indicative that he has much better things to do and people to see than you! He calls you only when he's sure that he has time for you, giving no thought to those times you may want to see or talk to him.
5. Action: He spends way too much time on the internet, such as myspace and facebook.
   Explanation: Ok, ok, we all love myspace and facebook, but let the truth be known, girls spend more time looking at peoples' pics because we love to see how people look, what they're wearing, who's getting married, etc. But guys should never spend as much time doing those things as we do, it's just not a guy thing. When guys spend lots of time on these websites, they're usually perusing random profiles (unless they are that guy who adds any girl with a hot profile pic to their friends list). These guys like to have chats with other girls to see where the conversations end up. Or maybe lots of people from their past are able to keep up with them through these online communities-not good! This is not healthy for a new relationship or an old one.