A marriage definitely has imperfections. It is a lifetime commitment that has to continuously be nourished. Nourishment includes dealing with inevitable changes in a relationship, which is exactly what the post is all about.
It?s almost midnight, and here I am still up, in front of the PC while contemplatively watching the two most important men in my life as they soundly sleep. I?m having a hard time getting asleep. I guess nalipasan na ako ng antok (I've passed by my sleep) as my biological clock is programmed that I should have slept at around 9 to 9:30PM. Tempted to open the PC this late in the night, I opted to write a post for my Friendster account in a hope that this writing would soon lead me to a deep slumber.
An hour ago, my husband Jun and I just came from an advance celebration by the Rotary Club (University District Manila) of the Mooncake Festival at Emerald Hotel (yey, I brought home one of the grand prizes, an ampao inserted with a raffle stub for a brand new car and 500 pesos!) Yes, it was truly a miracle. I found myself tonight in the company of people (except for a few of them) whom I am not so much comfortable of mingling with. After the 2005 Rotary Party, it was just now again that I accompanied Jun in another Rotary function. A couple of days before tonight, Jun even kept on asking me if I was sure I will be going with him in the function. Though it was fine with him for me not to attend (as he already accepted the fact that I am always cold when it comes to supporting him on his Rotary endeavors), he says that ?it was very unusual of me saying yes right away? when he invited me to that Rotary event.
Actually, that positive note that he gathered from me was one of my concrete gestures of indicating to him that I have triumphed adjusting to the inevitable changes in our married life. Yes, with constant prayers, guidance and wisdom from God, I can very well tell myself now that I have already accepted truly in my heart that my husband is into a sincere dedication and commitment in Rotary service and not even the most influential person this world (such as me? or his Dad or his bespren) can persuade him to withdraw from such affiliation. Before this acceptance though, it took our relationship in insurmountable leaps of challenges, tests and trials for several months that? I almost gave up, almost.
His involvement in Rotary service began in year 2002. A co-member of Jun in Opus Dei sponsored his membership in the Club. Though he didn?t consulted of this, I never hesitated allowing him to attend the Club?s weekly lunch meetings as well as the its activities (you know, the typical medical missions, clean up drive, donation of wheel chairs to charities and orphanages and among other Rotary stuff?). Even at that time we were very busy as we were at the heels of managing the construction of our home, it never came into my mind not to let him go in Rotary events. The following year, he was elected as Club Secretary then Director for Youth Service the year after that. He became busier and more involved. But nevertheless, my support was with him all the way. I even managed to regularly attend functions with him that requires the company of spouses (in Rotary they call it Rotary Anns). Maybe that was my way of returning back the favors that they have courteously extended to my husband for it is mostly because of his Rotary involvement that he successfully gathered significant business development prospects from Rotary members in favor of the company where he works for. Those businesses meant more income for our family and a booming career for my husband.
As months past by our very hectic schedules however, I began to notice we were struggling for quality time in the family as his activities in Rotary always gets in the way. This struggle worsened even when he broke the news to me (I was then 3 months pregnant with Nico) that he was elected as President of the Club for Rotary Year 2005-2006 (Rotary Clubs traditionally elect Officers one year in advance). Though he was not yet assuming the position the immediate year after, he was doubly active in Rotary as he reasoned that he is preparing for him term. There were a lot of times that I found myself the one adjusting just as so we can have quality time?attend the Sunday Service, at the very least. I was very envied, jealous with much of his time and attention and effort all at Rotary. I often asked him, ?Why do we have to compete for time with them? It should be us that should be the first priority!?
When his term as President of the Club began in July 2005, I knew I should 100_1752 expect the worst. And the worst came, giving me heartaches and pains. Coming home at late nights (or early mornings even), Rotary activities the whole of Saturday (Sundays even), a week-long medical missions, or seminar, or workshops, or meetings, brainstorming sessions, fellowship with his Classmate Presidents, events in the District, out-of-town trips, among other things that I can?t bear. An instance also came (which I opted not to mention in this blog) forced me to have a heart of stone for his Rotary endeavors. That was my way of protest. He always requested me to be with him in Rotary events but I often rejected to go. I always remarked that, ?I?d rather stay home and bond with Nico than join you in those activities?. Of course, he was hurt as I was hurt too as I uttered those words. But those were my only ways of showing how much I was hurt with the way things are going in our family. I knew he could have wanted that I?d be by his side at Rotary times, but he can?t demand a single effort from me as he knew that much that he is, I likewise demand him to make up for his shortcomings in the family.
