Wouldn't it be great if we came with an instructions manual for all of our life events?
How do we know if we are doing the right thing?
How do we know that this way is better than the other way?
Well there are no written guidelines to relationships. All we have is what people have experienced in the past and how we can learn from that.
Therefore I have come up with relationship dos and don'ts from personal experience and from what others have shared with me:
Dos
Have you ever heard: “every mind is a world”?
It's very true. Everyone is different; however we all like to feel good about ourselves. We all like feeling loved, and cared for. We all like feeling we are worthy.
It's a basic rule of life “treat each other as you would like to be treated”, and “don't do to others what you wouldn't want others to do to you”.
If you follow these basic rules, you will discover a whole new universe of ways of having a good and healthy relationship.
There's nothing better than to put yourself in the other persons' shoes.
Relationships have a hidden concept in their meaning, and that is “commitment”.
The word commitment sounds more complicated than what really means. And this is, basically following the rules I just mentioned.
You have to be committed to treat your significant other in ways you would like to be treated. With love, respect, honesty, understanding. These are to my opinion the 4 basic pillars of a good and lasting relationship.
If you are able to manage these 4 elements and have your other half live by them too, you are in for the best relationship you've ever had.
Start slowly. Next time you are about to have a fight, just think what would you expect from your loved one if it had been you who made a mistake.
Don'ts
People sometimes have the misconception that “commitment” means doing everything your loved one wants you to do, and changing everything he/her wants you to change.
This is NOT love.
Real and true love means accepting each other as they are.
This means that no changes to your basic essence are required. That you are loved for the way you are.
If you find yourself in a relationship where your loved one has asked you to change aspects that make you who you are, it's time to make a stop and go over the reasons of why you are together.
No one has a right to change who you are.
As I mentioned before this goes under the pillar of respect. True love means respecting who you are and loving you that way. However in order for someone else to love you the way you are, you need to love yourself first. It is amazing how our love for ourselves projects to others. So start by that.
Don't allow anyone to raise their voice at you, and therefore don't do it yourself. The first time you yell or get yelled at and allow it, opens the door to more disrespect, which could later end in physical abuse.
If you believe your significant other lies to you most of the time, it's also a time for a change. No one should be in a relationship with someone who they can't trust. Trust is a very important element of a relationship. You both need to establish that in order to have a healthy relationship you need to trust each other and the only way to achieve this is by being honest.
So to conclude, have a relationship where you can be yourself, and treat each other the way you want to be treated. Follow the 4 basic pillars to a healthy relationship and if you are currently in a relationship that doesn't have any of these aspects… get out now!
