I have been through difficult relationships in my life. As I look back, the following realizations come to mind:
Relationships aren't measured by just the good times. How you respond to great challenges can define a relationship.
Trials in a relationship can really tear a person down. My faith in God gave me the courage to move on. But it is not easy. The walk of faith involves certain leaps, moments of groping in ambivalence, periods of prayerful waiting, times when we have to trust God more than the clarity of His plan. We have to know how to be in silence - keeping things first in our hearts and minds. This may seem endless. But we need to keep faith!
Many times I had almost given up hope. But a little voice inside me knows that God is training me to be more deeply rooted in my faith so that inconvenience, suffering, sacrifice or unanswered prayers won't make my trust in the Lord waver.
I feel sorry about all the love I received and couldn't return.
I want to believe I am lovable. There were a couple of people who came in and out of my life, who returned and went away again, and some who never returned. Many times I have this in mind: The solution may not be to end the relationship (though sometimes, it is the solution), but to simply say “No” at the specific situations where the person is crossing your boundary lines.
Love is not love until it lets go.
Letting go is such a painful process that words - no matter how beautiful and sincere they are- can even intensify the sting of separation. No matter how much we are assured that the separation is only temporary, we still believe that it is better for people we love to be physically present.
There is a Jewish saying, “People don't fall because they are weak, but because they think they are strong.”
I've fallen many times. And this is what I learned: Don't even think you can handle it. Just run away from it, not to it. Truly, temptation comes in every form, attacking us when we are weak. Oftentimes, my hardships or difficulties are consequences of my wrong choices and priorities.
I've learned my lesson never to complicate my life more than I should.
I always thought that complexity spells excitement. Problems and intrigues can be so exciting! But it can be also too toxic! I need to be reminded regularly not to create a fire out of a smoke. Now my battlecry is to live a SIMPLE life!
Finally, I came to accept that life is full of imperfect things and imperfect people.
That somehow (yes, somehow!) in the past eight years, my husband and I have learned to accept the imperfections in each other. I pray that over time, we will stop trying to make
each other in our own mold and will learn to celebrate our differences.
Once that is achieved, we can finally say that we've learned to love each other for who we really are!
