Seven Stages of Developing Deep Meaningful Relationships

I read a lot of articles about giving flowers, candies, gifts, dining out at expensive restaurants, giving casual compliments, wooing your loved ones - all these become meaningless without sincerity. Materialistic pleasures definitely add excitement to the life, but what can bring lasting joy are the basic human values. These are universal human values, and are applicable for anyone, irrespective of race, color, gender, culture and religious background. When these human qualities are present, we know, the relationship is made to last, even if there are some downs.

A relationship will go through the following 7 stages to transform into a deep meaningful one:

1. Simplicity

   If you think about it, all relationships start on a very simple note - most likely a smile, a handshake, a “Hi” or a “Hello.” A simple, sincere person will bring an air of compassion and warmth, and you will readily make a connection. Other relations become little more complicated, when you meet someone, who you can sense have ego, pride, and carrying a sense of authority. If that is the case, you might get a negative intuition about this person. A lot of relationships, in fact, cannot go any further, when there is this road blockage, in other words, when any one in the relationship is not able to put other at ease.
   

2. Consideration

   Most of the works in the relationships fall in this stage and the subsequent two stages. Consideration is the ability to put yourself in another person's position, and able to feel, what the other person will feel, and actually doing something about it. The role of conscience that is moral sensitivity - a sense of right and wrong - plays an important role to develop consideration. This in turn is developed from the belief in “abundance” and a long-term thinking. On the other hand, if the person's belief is vested in the theory of “scarcity”, or some kind of negative feeling, the person will most likely be inconsiderate, and will not be able to provide the necessary courage.
   

3. Thoughtfulness

   This is the ability to think about your actions and communications in the past, and if you could have done things differently. An individual, who is committed to continuous self-improvement, will reflect to see, how things can be done better. This is also a way of acknowledging a mistake, going through repentance, and asking for a sincere apology to mend the relationship for the better.
   

4. Sincerity

   Most of the relationships are shallow, because people come with expectations or one of the persons is forming the relationship with a specific purpose in mind, and when the purpose is exposed, it is damaging for the relationship. On the other hand, if you let the person know, the reason for your meeting, or why you need the person, it is much more sincere.
   

5. Trust

   In this stage, you already know, because of the person's consideration, thoughtfulness and sincerity, you can trust the person. So what is trust? It is the blind conviction in the other person, that he or she will not harm you in any way, and ability to rely on this person's belief completely. This person has earned your confidence, and you know the person has a strong stand on fairness and justice. Trust is the result of repeated actions of simplicity, consideration, thoughtfulness and sincerity. So, it takes a long time to build.
   

6. Respect

   Respect is the result of all the above. When you think about a person, whom you respect, there is always a feeling of reverence, worship and admiration. We respect those people, who have done considerable sacrifice for someone, for a specific cause, or for a specific belief. We tend to think about our world leaders, revolutionaries, religious and spiritual leaders.
   
   

7. Love

   When all the above qualities are present, there comes the eternal feeling of liberation, salvation and a feeling of devotion. This is the highest form of emotion. Think about it - we say - “God, I love you,” we do not say, “God, I respect you.” When I am referring to love here, I am not just talking about the romantic love or plutonic love, or physical love. I am referring to the love that develops into a feeling of devotion and a sense of belonging, or when a person is in a state of being in oneness with the other. When you reach this stage, there is not really any need for word, flower, diamonds, and candies. Being in this state is itself blissful. We find ourselves in this stage with our near and dear ones - mostly in family/friends and in our relationship with ourselves. When you can develop an awareness of universal family, then, you develop the universal love.

In conclusion, I should say, we should all start taking a closer look at our relationships, and nourish these human values - simplicity, consideration, thoughtfulness, sincerity, trust, respect and love, which bring sustainable joy and fulfillment in our lifetime.