1. Commitment:
Commitment is the foremost important decision to make before you are wed, beginning with, "
from this day forward..." Statistics show, those with a mind set of believing they are marrying "until death do us part" have a 50% greater chance of weathering storms that come their way during their marriages. With over half of all marriages ending in divorce within the first three years, that
doubles your chances of marriage survival.
Going into marriage knowing you are basically stuck for life with the one you have chosen, will
make a drastic impact on decisions you make together with your spouse, how you handle
conflict, how many children you both want if any, where you want to spend your lives together,
career choices and much more.
Be committed from day one, make the choice to stick it out no matter what. With this in mind, all
decision will be made together, all conflicts will be resolved, you will agree on how many
children you want, where you want to live together and what careers you both want to purse with
each other's blessing and support.
2. Agreement:
Being in agreement with one another is very important as well. Without this vital key in a
marriage, boiling arguments are inevitable. Decisions will be made without the other knowing,
and often will conflict with one another causing strife and undue anxiety. Stress will rot your
bones as is mentioned in the Bible, therefore why not prevent excessive stress from getting the
best of you by setting some guidelines right form the beginning.
Areas of most importance to agree on are spending limits when you are together or apart, what is
expected of one another in the home, who the main supporter will be and how much
supplemental income may be needed by the other spouse, major purchases, who is responsible
for balancing checkbooks and sending payments, if education will play a role in either spouse's
life after the wedding, how many children and when to begin having them, discipline of the
children, life and death decisions involving insurance, retirement funds and inheritance issues,
friendships after marriage, television and music influences in the home, etc.
These are all issues
that will arise after the wedding and if an agreement has not been made, there is not unity and
balance which will surely lead to dysfunction, quarreling and misjudgments.
Having agreement
brings about stability in the couple, happiness and peace. Things that make a marriage strong and
last a lifetime.
3. Common Interests:
What normally brings two people together are common interests. Where you met, what you were
doing and who you were with all have a bearing on whether you want to get to know someone
better or not. If the ‘click' is not there, chances are you cannot create it later on.
Laws of attraction kick in immediately and whatever you were doing when you met your spouse,
however serious or fun it may have been, will likely be the glue that holds you together through
thick and thin.
As people grow older changes occur. Not just physically but emotionally and socially. It is important to know what your spouse likes to do and not do. While you both may not like everything the same, enjoying several things together will bring harmony, closeness and a sense of togetherness into your marriage.
While there must be things you both like to do or places you both
like to go, when one spouse wants to do something the other does not, often it is a sacrifice of
love for the spouse who would rather be fishing than scrap booking or visa versa. Couples still
need time alone as well, to enjoy activities apart from their spouses. The blending of two lives in
to one, does not mean the individual spouse loses them self altogether in their mate. It just means a
new life for the both of them takes place and they are joined as one with their own personalities,
likes, dislikes and lifestyles blending to complete each other more fully.
Taking the time to share
in your spouse's joys and sorrows, fun and sometimes boring events of life grows a relationship
deeper and closer than ever before. It solidifies the marriage and a sense of oneness just happens
naturally. This oneness cannot easily be broken and therefore brings security and stability to a
marriage.
4. Forgiving Forever:
This is probably one of the hardest things to do in one's life let alone in a marriage. Trust is a very
important factor in a marriage and once it is broke, it is hard to earn it back, but it is not
impossible with forgiveness.
Whether you've been wronged on purpose or an accident, offenses hurt, and sometimes they hurt
deeply. Time does heal, but often, time is not enough. Forgiveness does not say the offense was
okay, it only wipes it away, puts it in the past and keeps it there. This is what makes forgiveness
such a necessary component in a marriage.
