First of all, if you can change your man for the better without causing any conflict, by all means go for it. However, finding a way to do this will always be difficult. Men don't like change, and it usually causes many arguments, or in many cases failed relationships. So when you try to change your man always tread carefully. Be prepared for a fight, relationship problems and even cooled feelings towards you. Make sure your efforts to trying to change him would be worth the loss. However, there are situations, where you should try to change him, and when you do, if you do it rightly, it would be well worth the effort.
When He is Blind to His Faults
Sometimes, a man's faults can bring him serious problems or even failure. When he is blind to these faults he can't understand these problems enough to try and fix them. Take for an example, a doctor who is unfriendly to his patients. If he is blind to these faults he will make the same mistakes over and over again, causing the same failure patterns. When helping a man wake up to his blind faults, keep in mind that you do accept him! It is only the world that does not seem to accept. Do not refer to his failure directly, but build him up on the success that lies ahead. He needs to be assured from you, that making a few changes in his life might lead to him being more successful in life. If he chooses to keep making the same mistakes, at least you know he is aware of them and allow him his freedom. When correcting your man, don't appear as if you know more about his business than he does, don't talk motherly, and don't talk man-to-man. Use your feminine side when approaching him and he will not feel threatened.
When He Is Abusive To His Children
Sometimes a man, without fully realizing it can damage his own children. Harsh words or depreciating comments can damage a child's self-esteem, where it could affect their entire life. Even being cruel or giving unjust punishment, either mentally or physically can endanger a child with their relationship to him. It is not fair for a parent to injure a child, and therefore you have a moral obligation to take a strong stand. You will have to speak out to him boldly and frequently, with patient persistence. You should not fear when it comes to taking this stand, because you are entirely within your rights and he will sense this. If you are patient and persistent, you will have a good chance of winning. You need to humble him in regard to his children. One day he will thank you for it. I am not talking about men who are merely firm when it comes disciplinary action, but when a father goes too far in his punishments that it could injure a child in body or in soul. If still refuses to see reason, remove yourself and your children from the house, and remain away until all danger has pasted. Don't condemn him for his actions or even judge him. Be kind and firm and let him know you are doing it for the protection of your children. Your firm but kind attitude might even humble to see reason and bring him back to repentance.
When He Mistreats You
When a man is thoughtless, unfair, harsh, or critical should you try and change him? No, count these flaws as human qualities, present in most human beings. However respond to his mistreatment in the right way. Don't be a doormat. Don't shrink back and act wounded, or retreat behind your shell. Instead have some self-dignity and stand up to him, and he will love you more for it. But take care to do this in the right way.
The Alcoholic Man
Alcoholism is difficult to accept due to related problems such as squandering money, dishonesty, unreliableness, and even the deterioration of the home. A lot of woman despair to this problem and ask how they can ever accept their man after what he has done to their lives. The first thing to do is gain understanding and acceptance to this problem. Alcoholism is one of the most difficult of weaknesses to overcome. If want to understand how difficult alcoholism is to overcome, here is a way to make sympathy real. Try to give up coffee, sweets or another binding habit. You will soon get the picture, to a slight degree, of what you expect of him. You've probably nagged, yelled, insulted or even abused him for the mess he has made of your life. However there are probably a lot of failings in your own life. Are you a good mother, or homemaker? Or do you try, and then fail again and again? If you can admit to such weaknesses in yourself, you will have less reason to condemn him for his failings, which are far more difficult to overcome. Yours are relatively easy, his almost impossible.
When I say accept your man at face value, I'm not asking you to do something easy. Many women have found it so difficult trying that they have given up trying. For years he may suffered from the plaguing thought that you are dissatisfied with him. Your assurance that you accept him as he is will remove his doubts from his mind and come as a relief. He will probably even change without realizing it because he would know that you loved him anyway.
