The most rewarding job we will ever have is parenting, but for those of us who are single parents it can be very lonely. Many single parents struggle with dating; how to begin, who should they date and most importantly how will dating impact the child(ren)? For single parents dating can be intimidating. Technologically dating has become increasingly easier and significantly less stressful as single parents' personals and internet dating services have began popping up everywhere.
As a single parent it is important to get to know someone well before introducing them to the children at home and meeting online is a great way to slowly and thoroughly get to know someone. Even still, if things should escalate to dating terms, I recommend introducing the individual to the children as a friend until you are sure that both parties are committed as it is never appropriate or fair to bring men or women in and out of the children's lives. Naturally if you meet someone online please use safety precautions, such as meeting in a well lit, populated area or bringing a friend along. Do not give out your address until you are confident the person you've met has been honest and is who they claim to be. Follow your instincts and never feel uncomfortable about protecting yourself and your family.
Remember that reentering the dating scene is challenging for everyone, not just for single parents. Keep in mind that you work hard and that you deserve to go out and meet someone to share your time with. As parents we often lose sight of our own needs and desires and we do not give these needs the attention they require. At first dating may seem like a juggling act, in one hand you have your children and in the other you have your needs. It may feel selfish when first entering the dating scene again, but sheltering your children from the people you date is important until you find someone that you want to be a part of your children's lives.
Dating single parents can also be intimidating, but it can be rewarding as well. It is important to realize that the children involved are an intricate part of the relationship, but do not let that scare you. Dating someone who has a child or children may leave you feeling uncertain about your roll. Take ease in knowing your roll when dating is not much more than just treating the child(ren) the way you would want to be treated, listening when they talk, and taking interest when they wish to share something with you. Your undivided attention will make them feel important and they will be more likely to accept you.
When the time comes to meet the child(ren) being introduced as a friend should not be an insult because this step will help shield the children from the possibility of deeply rooted disappointments; should things not work out, the children were not lead to believe you were going to be part of the family and the children will not grow up with a complex about parents coming and going and leaving all the time.
Remember, dating is meant to be a fun and enjoyable time. Get to know each other and while it is important to remember and regard the feelings of the child(ren) involved, you do not have to make immediate decisions or feel any obligations. Keeping the relationship separate from the children during the dating interim will help ensure that the child(ren) are not confused or affected negatively. Relax and have a good time, you deserve it.
