Your mindset and that of your partner are the most important considerations. Since you've read this far, chances are you have an open-mind about such relationships, but will you be able to ignore what other people think? What about your partner?
Most people would never look twice at someone more than five years older or younger than themselves, while others are actually drawn to such relationships. For many, it depends. How much older and which one is older, the man or the woman? Having been married to a man sixteen years my senior and then to a man sixteen years my junior, I've experienced both sides of the issue.
I must say that I've had a more difficult time being the older woman. This is partly due to the fact that I've reached middle age and gravity has not been kind. For that, I'm thankful that love is blind. But, in our society it is more acceptable for an older man to marry a younger woman than the other way around. I sense people thinking “cradle robber” and though I try not to let it, it does affect me ever so slightly sometimes. Fortunately, my husband and I aren't big into socializing, so we rarely attend gatherings of a single generation where one partner would stick out like a sore thumb.
One consideration is the inter-relationships amongst other family members. They are likely to be a bit awkward, but can be wonderful. For instance, the older partner and the corresponding in-laws will be closer in age than in a traditional arrangement. Likewise, children from a previous marriage might be nearly the same age as the younger partner. Those relationships may be less strained than normal since there is more common ground. On the other hand, the traditional role of sage in-law lovingly showering the new family member with advice may be shattered and the concept of step-parenthood may be ludicrous, especially if a step-child is older than the step-parent!
Shared memories may be interesting. In a relationship where ages vary considerably, mutual memories of significant historical events are limited to those of the younger person. The older person will remember things that happened before the younger one was even born. Enjoy the differences. You will learn a lot about another generation and may be surprised by how different life was for your partner than for you. Just for fun, team up in trivia games and use your combined broad knowledge base to blow away the competition!
A benefit that might go overlooked is the stability of the older partner and the shortened learning curve for the younger person. Many people leave home lacking the skills and resources necessary for independent living. Having one person in the relationship with plenty of experience can be a big boost for the other one.
Keep in mind that most age-related differences are no more problematic than those between generations within any family. Music tastes, slang, friends, and clothes styles may differ, but disparities in tastes exist even within a single generation. Cultural differences between two people may well be a greater obstacle than an age gap.
As the years go by, an age spread will have less and less impact. The contrast between a twenty year old and a thirty-five year old may seem significant, but when that same couple reaches fifty and sixty-five the difference hardly matters.
In the end, your fortitude and the strength of your love will be the determining factors on how well you can handle the stares and whispers that will come with a relationship involving large differences in age. If you can disregard what other people think and truly love each other despite your age difference, you stand a good chance of making it work.
