You're a busy person who has little time for dating. Furthermore, you're sick of the bar scene and you've had your fill of one-night stands and casual flings -- now you want a lasting relationship. So, you've decided to try speed dating, where you only get a matter of minutes to figure out whether the woman or man before you is long-term material.
Trouble is, you don't know quite what to ask. You just know that when faced by a stranger you will be completely stumped and will come across as a mumbling idiot. What do you ask then so that you will make sure every question counts and find out if the person opposite you is compatible and has the attributes you are looking for? Here is a selection of the most telling questions anyone can ask.
A tip for men from someone who knows: Remember to be confident during your little chats, as women want a man with confidence, not one who stumbles and stutters, not seeming to know what he wants. The women here have had their fill of men like that and that's why they are here. I should know. I met my husband on a speed date and he didn't run screaming off into the night, so I must have done something right.
Girls, don't make it seem like you are grilling him (even although you are), because you don't want to scare him off. He could be your Mr Right and you're interrogation has left him in a puddle of his own insecurities.
Note, some of these questions may rank higher for different people depending on what they want to find in a partner.
If we Got Into an Argument, How Would we Settle It?
No matter how great your relationship is, you will inevitably argue, so this question is very important.
When you ask this one, be alert to the other person's verbal response and body language as well. Everybody reacts differently during heated arguments and you need to know what to expect. Hey, you don't want a knife thrower or a cat killer.
What this Answer will Reveal:
If they say they expect you to grovel for forgiveness each and every time, you'll probably want to steer clear of them. Life's too short to be with someone who sulks for a year just because you put the knife back in the wrong drawer.
But, if the reply is that they'd want to talk and try to understand both sides, they are an open person you can have actual mature discussion with. Not many people are like that, so grab them while you can.
Why Did you Break up with your Last Partner?
You know that break-ups are often messy and fraught with underlying baggage, so this question may reveal something about their current emotional state. Furthermore, you'll be able to tell if they have moved on with their life or are still stuck on this other person.
What this answer will reveal:
If the answer is that they split because the other person was abusive or a cheat, you can tell that this person stands up for themselves and won't take any nonsense. This is an admirable trait. Mark it down as a plus, because who wants to be with a doormat?
If they keep speaking in terms of this other person as “we” then you will know that they're not over them.
What do you Think about Marriage?
This is a sneaky question because in essence what you are asking is “have you been married?” without actually coming out with it. Their reaction will help you to gauge whether there's a future with this person.
What this Answer will Reveal:
When the m word is mentioned, does an air of desperation creep into their voice? Do they say something like “I thought by the age of 35 I would be married with kids by now?” Ever heard the saying: “Marry in haste repent at your leisure?” Well, it's true. When someone is in a rush to do something they make mistakes. Don't end up being someone's mistake.
If you're looking for marriage material and he or she gripes about how marriage is the ultimate evil and how they'll never do it (or do it again), then this one's probably not for you -- unless you share their point of view, that is.
Do you Like Children?
Ahh, children - cute or cumbersome depending on a person's point of view. This question could very well be the deal-breaker as there seems to be two types of people. Those who believe in going forth and multiplying and having little people created in their image, and a growing number who don't want kids.
