Betrayal can come in many forms, be it a little white lie or an affair, the feeling of betrayal kills the trust we have in another person. It could be an ever so slight change that we may not even notice at first but little by little even the smallest betrayals can lead to irreparable damage in a relationship. A parent's trust in their child can lessen by the discovery that they were not at their friend's house last night like they said. Where they really were may not even be the problem and isn't even the point, it's the lie and the lack of respect that does the damage. A trusting spouse can have their marriage destroyed by the discovery of the betrayal of an affair, even an emotional affair as opposed to an all out sexual affair.
We are all hit with some form of betrayal at stages in our lives. The things that matter to us may not matter to another person and so they could betray us without even realizing it. Imagine the scenario, a couple are very much in love, one partner enjoys flirting online and even though nothing further would ever come of it, the other partner is devastated and feels like the trust is gone. The flirting party is bewildered because their train of thought has never once led them to the conclusion that “harmless” flirting could be a betrayal of any sort, never mind anything as extreme as cheating. This is where the line gets murky as people have different feelings and morals. A situation can seem completely different to two halves of a couple, which is why communication is so important to avoid this sort of misunderstanding. If two people fully understand where the other's point of view stands then any future occurrences would be intentional rather than a simple mistake.
Getting Past an Affair
The worst type of betrayal is disloyalty from someone you love. Without doubt, being let down by those you trust most can hurt the most. This most commonly occurs when a person discovers their partner has been cheating on them. The feeling this invokes tends to be along the lines of heart-wrenching agony. It has been likened to feeling like your heart has been ripped out of your chest and torn apart, being in so much pain and suffering that you can't breathe or even just leaving you with an empty nothingness inside. Other emotions also rise to the surface, embarrassment and the dread that comes with the question; “Am I the last to know?”
When an affair rocks a relationship it can be very hard to overcome. Even the ones who try to patch up their relationship can find themselves in a constant rerun every time they have an argument where everything from the past is once again brought up and rehashed. There is only so much of this that anyone can take. The majority of people cannot get past an affair no matter what they do, hyper-vigilance of the other person's actions and whereabouts can get quite tiring and the wondering if it will happen again gets tedious while the perpetrator of the affair can find themselves feeling suffocated and even hide innocent things for fear that it will make their partner jealous or suspicious. This is always a mistake.
It is possible to mend the relationship however both parties must seriously want it to happen and make a huge effort at repairing the trust and love between them. To the person who has been cheated on but feels that their relationship is worth another chance I say this - draw the lines now. Make it very clear what will be tolerated by you in the future. In this way, if you do discover anymore circumstances where your trust has been betrayed, they will have no excuses and no future chances because you have laid it on the line for them and they agreed at the time. If you let them away with it a second time then why would they even attempt to be faithful in future. If they have that little respect for your feelings then why waste time with them anyway. Some things are not worth saving after all. But remember that everyone has the potential to stray from the right path at times and we are only human, we all make mistakes but it's important to learn from our mistakes so if your partner can't see that then let them go. We can all manage to get by alone for a while. If you do break up then make it a clean one, it's the easiest in the long-run.
